


Nineteen (Minus Two) Years Later

by Jewelwing23, PlayingCard653



Series: Nineteen Years Later [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Headmistress Minerva McGonagall, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Not Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Professor Ginny Weasley, Professor Hermione Granger, Professor Neville Longbottom, Severus Snape Lives, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-05-13 03:24:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 29,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19242835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jewelwing23/pseuds/Jewelwing23, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlayingCard653/pseuds/PlayingCard653
Summary: Potters are overrated.This is proof trouble can happen at Hogwarts without any Potter-shaped interference.Excerpt:Minerva sighed. “We can just try and—Did he seriously just apparate while playing video games?”“No,” Severus shook his head, “he’s on Grindr.”“That works on school grounds?”“Only if he’s not on school WIFI,” Severus answered.Minerva didn’t want to know how he knew that.Updates on the first of each month.





	1. Prologue: Be Prepared

It was a beautiful day at Hogwarts; the birds were singing, the giant squid was swimming peacefully along with the mermaids of the Black Lake, and unicorn foals were taking their first steps in the lush earth of the Forbidden Forest. Amidst the calm, a problem was brewing inside the school’s ancient walls.

It was that time of year again… the moment before their nice and quiet summer would be disrupted by the noise of _children._

Now, Minerva herself was quite fond of children, unlike a certain coworker whose name rhymes with ‘neverus grape’, but the problem lay in a boy that would be arriving later that season.

James Sirius Potter, named after two of Hogwarts’ worst troublemakers in the last fifty years, would be beginning his first year at Hogwarts soon, the first of DADA Professor Ginny Potter’s children to begin their education. Hopefully, he wouldn’t get in as many worrisome predicaments as his parents had during their days at school. 

“Headmistress McGonagall?” Hermione Granger’s voice broke through her cloud of thought.

Minerva looked away from the window and toward the current Transfiguration professor. Covering up her absentmindedness, she casually took a sip of her tea that was long-cooled. “Where did ‘Minerva’ go?” She had thought she’d trained Hermione out of the use of her title years ago when her precursor had quit his job.

“It went away the fourth time you didn’t respond to it,” Hermione answered, casting a heating charm with a flick of her wand. “Are you okay? You’ve been staring at nothing for the past half an hour.”

Minerva laughed, touched at the younger witch’s concern. “I’m an old woman, Hermione. We tend to have our lapses in attention.” She noticed Severus snort on the word ‘old’, and shot him a glare. “How is your schedule-making going, Severus?”

Severus looked up from where he was making the schedule for the new coming first years with Hermione Granger. “First year Ravenclaws with Slytherins in Potions, Minerva? Do you _want_ the castle to explode or implode?” He raised an eyebrow. “Perhaps both simultaneously, which wouldn’t be a shock given the group.”

“You complained when I put Hufflepuff with Slytherin because of the schemes they could pull off, and Gryffindor with Slytherin because of the rivalry,” She reminded him, setting down her cup. “This is probably the least problematic.”

Severus gave a grumble and returned to his writing, occasionally making an irritated noise as he changed details.

“Minerva?” Hermione had paused in her computer typing—it was 2015, it was time Hogwarts and the rest of the magical world integrated into using technology. “I have a question about pairing the first year Hufflepuffs with Ravenclaws in my class.” She turned the screen towards her former teacher. “We have almost every class planned out right now. If they’re together, then they’ll have Transfiguration on Thursday _and_ Friday.”

Ginny leaned over and looked at the device. “Here, I’ll swap Friday Transfiguration with Tuesday’s DADA. Tuesday would be next to my Monday class for Hufflepuff.”

As Hermione made the changes, Ginny suddenly let out a frustrated growl. “Oh wait, that means Ravenclaw and Gryffindor have DADA Thursday and Friday.”

“They’re Ravenclaws, they can deal with it.” Severus said bluntly, making edits from the laptop on the table beside him.

Ginny and Hermione glanced at each other before shrugging and going along with it.

“But what about the Gryffindors?” Minerva asked, worried they wouldn’t get the opportunity to complete their work before class the next day.

Ginny gave a short laugh, “They do their work the day before it’s due anyway—And it’s the first years. Their essays aren’t that long.”

Minerva gave a nod of agreement as they continued with their work.

“How. Just. How.” Hannah Abbott, the Matron at Hogwarts after Poppy retired walked into the room and slowly slumped down into her armchair. She grabbed a pillow out from under her body and stuck it on her face.

“What happened?” Cho asked. The flying instructor was buried under what looked like a miscellaneous pile of what looked like quidditch magazines and nuclear physics papers.

“Our youngest faculty member decided it would be a bloody brilliant idea to demonstrate why it is a bad idea to use phones in the hallway.” Hannah’s voice was slightly muffled by the pillow, but still clear enough for the message to pass.

Minerva winced, imagining all of the possible situations their Arithmancy teacher might have gotten into. “Please tell me he hasn’t somehow stumbled into a cursed vault or something equally as bad.”

“We have cursed vaults? Nevermind.” Hannah shook her head. “No. He walked _off_ of the moving staircase. Off of!” She threw her hands in the air. “HOW? He literally went to school here for seven years, and he’s been teaching here for almost half a decade!”

“The moving staircase?” Minerva blinked. “How? Is he okay?”

“Oh yeah, _he’s_ fine.” Hannah rolled her eyes. “Nearly gave _me_ a heart attack, though.

Just then, the teacher they were talking about walked into the room. He was on his phone, playing some game.

“Didn’t you hear what I said?” Hannah stood up, glowering at the Slytherin. “No using your phone in the hallways, young man.”

Michael slid his phone in his pocket. “You’re only seven years older than me, Hannah. You can’t call me ‘young man’ unless you want to be called ‘old lady.’” He turned towards Severus. “Hey, wanna bet who’s going to make the most kids cry this year?”

Severus raised an eyebrow and crossed a leg over the other. “During class or in total?”

“Severus!” Minerva held in a laugh, knowing she was supposed to disapprove of him encouraging the younger wizard.

“In class,” Michael said after a moment. He smirked, “And only third year and up.”

Severus nodded. “Very well. What shall the winner receive?”

They both paused to think as the rest of the room pretended they weren’t all watching with avid fascination.

A look dawned upon Michael. He strode over to Severus and whispered something in his ear.

Minerva strained to catch a hint of what they were wagering, but was unable to retain her feline senses in human form. Judging from the disappointed looks on everyone else’s faces, none of them were able to overhear it either.

Severus stood up and they shook hands, sealing the deal.

“If either of you send any traumatized kids to me…” Hannah glared at them. As the Head of Hufflepuff, she was fiercely protective of not only her badger cubs, but of all the students.

“Your kids actually pay attention to my class,” Michael stated, “they’ll be fine. The Gryffindors, on the other hand.”

“Hey!” Hermione frowned, “We can pay attention!”

“Some are okay,” Wang conceded, “but it’s mostly Gryffindors and Ravenclaws that end up crying in my class.”

“No Slytherins?” Minerva asked, her curiosity getting the better of her. What was the saying? Curiosity killed the cat? Oh well.

“Slytherins don’t cry in public,” Severus provided.

“Unless it’s to manipulate someone,” Wang added.

Severus’s head bob indicated his agreement. “Didn’t you say you were going to give that student who didn’t write their name a Troll unless they cried?”

Michael shrugged. “Maybe.”

“So, let’s discuss our Potter-shaped question.”

“Really?” Ginny gave Severus an unimpressed look.

“Not you.”

“I’m not healing you if you get hexed,” Hannah stood up. “No culpability.” She left the room.

“I’m just saying that the probability of something going wrong while a Potter is at school is higher than normal.” Severus said calmly, turning off his computer.

“The war,” Michael added _helpfully._

Minerva sighed at the children. Where was Filius when she needed him? The only other member of their staff that remained from when she’d first began teaching, Filius was unfortunately not yet back from his research trip. 

Severus glanced at Wang’s new wallpaper on his phone. “Happy Pride Month,” He said casually.

“Oh, it’s Pride Month?” Hermione began typing on her laptop. “Oh, the history is certainly fascinating! Did you know that they began as a commemoration to the Stonewall Riots in New York?” She blushed. “Oh, sorry. You probably do.”

“Yes.”

Even though she wasn’t a part of the conversation, Minerva could feel the awkwardness radiating from the two of them. “So you were saying something about the Potter Problem, Severus?”

Severus’ expression showed her just how unsubtle her diversion was, but he nonetheless launched into a vivid description of hypothetical situations their new charge may get into. After a while, bets were being placed for which students would be going into which house. Minerva personally bet that James Sirius would go into Gryffindor, but Albus Severus or Lily Luna would go into a different house.

“And no telling your kids which house to choose,” Minerva added to Ginny.

Ginny smirked, “Where would the fun be in that?”

“I saw who you chose for prefects,” Michael mentioned all of a sudden. “Dylan and Weasley? I bet they’ll be together by the end of the year.”

“Nia Dylan?” Cho shook her head, “No, she hates Fred Weasley. It won’t work.”

Minerva had nearly forgotten about the Ravenclaw’s presence, with how quiet she was.

“He annoys her, but it’s like Hermione and Ron.” Ginny paused, looking over at the brunette Gryffindor. “Well, Fred’s smarter than Ron, but yeah.”

“Uh, Ron and I need marriage counseling,” Hermione reminded her sister-in-law.

Ginny shrugged. “I blame the times he’s fallen on his head as a baby.”

“That’s because you pushed him.”

Ginny’s silence indicated more than words could.

 _“Weasley_ likes Dylan,” Michael was apparently _still_ arguing with Cho.

“She tried to hit him in the face with a bludger,” Cho argued.

“So?” Michael gestured toward Hermione. _“She_ set a bunch of birds on the guy she’s married to.”

“Marriage counseling.”

“Plus, I didn’t say Dylan and Weasley would be married or together forever.” Michael began drumming his fingers on the table. “They are definitely going to be together at some point, though. Even if it’s just to try it.”

“How do you even know they’re both straight?” Cho’s tone suggested that she finally found something to contradict him.

Michael shrugged, uneffected by her words. “Dylan’s best friend is in the GSA. She was complaining about how all of the guys Dylan thinks are cute are idiots. Weasley’s roommate is also in the GSA, and he was venting about how annoying it is when his roommates talk about girls.”

Cho’s face contracted at him proving doubt in her case. “Yeah, but—” 

They continued bickering, but Minerva tuned them out. She sighed at the children that were her coworkers as she mentally ran through a list of what she had to accomplish. “Michael, could you go deliver a letter to a muggleborn and explain everything?” She summoned a muggleborn letter, then thought better and summoned two. “Cho, you too?”

“Why do I have to do it?” They asked simultaneously, then glared at each other.

“You two are both halfbloods, which means you’re best suited to explain everything to them because you understand both worlds,” Minerva said calmly, handing them the letters.

“Why can’t Snape do it?”

“Because I’m a senior professor,” Severus smirked from his spot in the chair. “Hogwarts rules. Youngest faculty gets stuck with the unwanted jobs.”

“Well, Hermione, Ginny, and Hannah are younger than me.” Cho folded her hands over her chest.

“Hermione is working on the schedule, and Ginny is—” Minerva glanced at Ginny, who was texting on her phone. “Ginny is talking to her kids. Oh! Lily did what? Well, at least we have some time before she comes to Hogwarts.”

“What about Hannah?”

Severus gave Cho a look. “After all of the quidditch injuries she’s had to treat? Is it _really_ worth the risk?”

Cho and Michael each gave a sigh of reluctance and took a letter from Minerva’s hand. They sneered at each other before exiting the staff room. Minerva could see them through the window in muggle clothes as they both walked away from the school, towards the apparition point. She silently congratulated herself on making them stop arguing, even if it was for a moment.

“It’s not a permanent solution.”

Minerva jumped, tearing her gaze away from the courtyard. She hadn’t heard Severus walk up behind her. “I know, but it’s just until we can figure out a better solution.”

“Minerva, Wang is too GT.” Severus gave her a long look. “He judged her his first time meeting her, and found her lacking within half an hour. It’s why some Ravenclaws will never get anywhere from just studying books.”

Minerva sighed. “We can just try and—Did he seriously just apparate while playing video games?”

“No,” Severus shook his head, “he’s on Grindr.”

“That works on school grounds?” 

“Only if he’s not on school WIFI,” Severus answered.

Minerva didn’t want to ask how he knew that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of the chapter titles are lyrics from various songs—mostly from musicals.


	2. Chapter One: Anybody Have A Map?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:
> 
> “Are you sure you’re a Slytherin?” Snapped an upperclassman near them who had been trying to read in peace.
> 
> The other girl smiled at the older student. “Are you sure you’re a Ravenclaw? It doesn’t seem very wise to postulate that you know better than a centuries-old hat that has literally been inside my mind when you’ve been listening to us speak for perhaps a few minutes.” She shrugged nonchalantly. “But be my guest.”

“Vivienne, could you get the mail?” Her dad called from the kitchen and Vivienne sighed as she put down her pencil. Looking critically at her sketch one last time, she took out the key from the drawer by the fridge and headed outside. Squinting in the heat, she shoved the key into its slot, twisted, and pulled open the mailbox. She tugged out the customary magazines and coupons before closing the mailbox and looking up to see a dark colored cat atop of the metal container.

Vivienne stepped back, startled. “Okay, I’m pretty sure you weren’t there two seconds ago,” she reached out to the cat. The cat made an aggressive sound, making Vivienne retract her hand and place it hastily at her side. “Well, my neighbors are probably looking outside at this very moment wondering why I’m talking to a cat, but how the heck did you get up there?”

When the cat jumped off the mailbox, transformed into a man in a purple and black plaid shirt, and handed her a letter, Vivienne wasn’t really sure if she was surprised or not. “Okay.” She nodded, turning around and walking briskly back to the house. “Mom! I think I’m hallucinating! Did Dad make breakfast again? Remember how he _poisoned_ us last time?”

Before she could enter the house, however, she looked down and saw the letter the cat— _person?_ she wondered—handed her still in her grasp and stopped so suddenly she almost fell on her face. She slowly looked back at her mailbox and, sure enough, the man was still there, almost smiling but not quite.

She dragged her feet as she walked back to stand in front of the animal who had turned into a person in front of her very eyes. “What. Is. Happening.” It came out as a statement. He snorted. “You’re a witch. Congratulations. Pack your things, you’re going to be moving.”

Vivienne gaped, only speaking as the man turned to walk away. “Excuse me?? I’m a—what??” 

“Ugh, social interaction,” He groaned in a world-weary voice. 

Vivienne would’ve smiled under any other circumstance, but she was currently too shocked and confused. “Um, who are you?”

“My name is Professor Michael Wong, I teach Arithmancy at Hogwarts, which is pretty much magical math that analyzes the probability of how likely things in the future are to happen.” He pulled out a wand and flicked it, opening the door to her house. “Yes, magic is real, and you have it.” He looked at her with an exasperated look on his face. “Any questions?”

Vivienne tilted her head in question. “You can turn into a cat. Like, what?”

“It’s called an Animagus transformation. You might be able to become an Animagus if you do well in Transfiguration and Potions, but it’s unlikely.”

Vivienne was beginning to question her sanity. What the… cat-person was saying and doing should’ve been impossible. “You mean like chemistry or whatever? Because I’m not supposed to take that for, like, five years.”

The Professor, as he called himself, looked up at the sky before sighing loudly. “You know what? I might as well simultaneously explain this to your parents.” When she didn’t move, he squinted at her. “Well? Lead the way.”

Vivienne blinked. “Yeah. Right, okay.” She headed back up the steps and into her house, closing the door after the man walked in after her. “Uh, mum, dad? There’s a man who needs to see you?” Her voice came out slightly breathless and without waiting for a response, she plopped down onto the living room sofa and carefully removed the rich red seal on the letter, which had begun to crumple in her white-knuckled grip. Out of the corner of her eye, Vivienne saw the man sit in a chair and soon her parents followed suit. Tuning out their conversation, she pulled out and unfolded the two sheets of parchment inside the envelope. The first read;

_Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry  
Headmistress: Minerva McGonagall _

_Dear Ms. Favero,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Severus Snape  
Deputy Headmaster_

Vivienne wondered if she was still asleep, or perhaps she had tripped on the way to the mailbox and passed out. Yeah, that made a lot more sense to her than being a witch and being invited to a school called _Hogwarts_. Who in their right mind named their school _Hogwarts?_

“So we’re going to be able to go to this Diagon Alley today?” Her mum was asking when Vivienne finally returned her attention to the adults.

Vivienne smiled at how well her parents were taking the news. _A sign that you’re asleep!_ Her mind whispered, but she ignored it. If this was false, she may as well enjoy it while it lasted.

~*~

Vivienne waited anxiously as she watched all of the people before her being met with cheers as they were sorted into their respective houses. She was certain at that point that magic was real, but suddenly a burst of panic erupted in the back of her mind. What if the hat didn’t sort her? She had read all about the previous unease regarding blood status, and would she, a muggleborn, be accepted into this new world she was now apart of?

A nudge to the side brought Vivienne out of her thoughts. “Hey,” The dark-haired girl next to her whispered, “Are you okay?”

Vivienne blinked, smoothing out the ruffled fabric of her plain black robes, yet to be adorned with the colors and symbol of a house. “Yeah.”

“You’ve been staring for the past few minutes.” The other girl remarked matter-of-factly. “I was beginning to think you had fallen asleep or something.”

“No, no,” Vivienne smiled slightly. “Perfectly awake.”

“Great,” the girl smirked, “it wouldn’t be good for Snape to call your name and for you not to respond.”

“Oh yeah,” agreed Vivienne, thinking about the man that had been her introduction into the magical world. If the _math_ teacher could perform such feats as he had demonstrated for her family, what could the _deputy headmaster_ do?

“Favero, Vivienne!”

Vivienne stepped forward, trepidation rising in her mind. She wiped her sweaty palms in the heavy robes swirling around her as she approached the magical piece of headwear and sat down in the precarious-looking stool. As the hat was placed over her head, she briefly questioned if it contained lice.

 _“Of course I don’t!”_ The hat gasped, seemingly scandalized at the implication of it carrying bugs in the brim.

Vivienne blinked in surprise. She should’ve paid more attention earlier. “You can talk?” She whispered to the hat, trying to conceal her mortification as the kids at the nearest table snickered at her question.

 _“Just as well as, or maybe better than you can!”_ The hat replied cheerfully, unfazed by her inane question.

“Um, so I was reading about the houses and I had a few questions,” said Vivienne quietly, “Does the house placement really impact the rest of our lives?”

 _“Yes, it does,”_ The hat affirmed. _“Although some people can rise past it.”_

“So if the sorting’s that impactful and might make people dislike each other for no reason,” Vivienne paused, considering the consequences for possibly insulting the hat. She shrugged to herself, “then what’s the point of sorting?”

 _“Ah, that is a question I believe you can discuss with your new housemates.”_ The hat said quickly. “RAVENCLAW!”

Vivienne gave the hat an unimpressed look. That was quite possibly the least subtle way to get out of answering a question. No wonder the hat belonged to Godric Gryffindor.

As she sat down, she vowed that she would pay more attention to her surroundings. Now that she was in the same house as a bunch of smart people, it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to embarrass herself by asking questions that were already answered.

The sorting was actually...really really really boring. Would _she seriously_ have to sit and watch a bunch of kids silently put on a hat for the next, according to her approximations, twenty minutes?

Vivienne groaned, reaching into her robes and pulling out her book. A nice fourth-year on the train had, at her shy request, cast a spell on Vivienne’s pockets so that they wear much larger inside than they appeared on the outside. She opened the only book she had not yet finished out of the seven in her trunk that she had brought onto the train ride.

“Oooooh!”

Vivienne looked up from her book with a glare intended for whoever had just interrupted her reading. Then she noticed that the sorting was finally over.

A black blob of fabric popped up in front of her. “Hey, Vivienne, what’cha reading?” The hood fell away, revealing the same girl who'd spoken to her before.

“Harry Potter,” Vivienne replied, replacing her book back into her robes as food appeared on the table. “Apparently I should’ve read this years ago; then I wouldn’t have been surprised when Professor Wong popped out of nowhere as a cat.”

“Yeah,” The girl shrugged, “He has a tendency to do that.”

Vivienne tilted her head. “Do you know him?”

“Nope,” The girl giggled. “It’s just Asian telepathy. We know _everything_ about other Asians. Also, gossip from the older years says he likes doing it.”

“Uh huh…” Vivienne raised an eyebrow. “You know I’m Asian too, right? I mean, South Asian, and only 25%, but like I’m still Asian. If you know everything, say something about me.”

The girl tilted her head to the side, a look of deep concentration appeared on her face. “I can see that you’re studious, quite bright,” a pause, “need to work on your self-esteem, likes books, doesn’t really like idiots who disrespect books, and also an interesting human.”

“That’d be pretty good,” Vivienne agreed, “If half of the things you listed just then weren’t linked to my house.” 

“I was at least 25% right,” The girl shrugged, taking a piece of chocolate from Vivienne’s plate.

Vivienne eyed the green on the opposite girl’s robes. “Shouldn’t you be sitting with your house?”

“Eh,” The brunette shrugged, “They’re all talking to people they know. The only other people that don’t know everyone else are that half-blood and that muggleborn. They look positively _boring_.”

“Hey!” Vivienne frowned, “I’m a muggleborn.”

“Well, duh.” The short female child rolled her eyes—Vivienne really needed to get her name at some point. “Your last name is _Favero_. That means you’re already somehow muggle. Add that with your remark about being surprised with Wang and stuff, and presto bingo, you’re a muggleborn.”

“Are you sure you’re a Slytherin?” Snapped an upperclassman near them who had been trying to read in peace.

The other girl smiled at the older student. “Are you sure you’re a Ravenclaw? It doesn’t seem very wise to postulate that you know better than a centuries-old hat that has literally been inside my mind when you’ve been listening to us speak for perhaps a few minutes.” She shrugged nonchalantly. “But be my guest.”

Vivienne suppressed a giggle at the look of irritation on the taller student’s face.

“See ya later, Viv!” The Slytherin girl began walking toward the Hufflepuff table. “Time to go bother my dear cousin.”

Vivienne blinked in surprise at the new nickname, pretending to ignore the fact that the girl had taken one of her Harry Potter books. She wasn’t sure how the Slytherin was expecting her not to notice that she had taken a literal book from Vivienne’s pocket, but it wasn’t the one she was reading at the time so she decided to get it back later. “But I don’t even know your name!”

The dark-haired girl smirked and pulled her hood back over her head. “It’s Kat! Kat Mao!” She wiggled her fingers in Vivienne’s direction, then spun around and attacked a Hufflepuff first-year who had been calmly eating from behind with a hug. “Ruby! How is my dear baby cousin today? Yes, yes, I know you’re older than me, but whatever.”

Vivienne smiled at the two girls, one of which was currently wrapped around the other’s neck like a giant squid. It seemed that she’d made a friend in this new place already.

When she turned back to the table, she noted uncomfortably that the older student from earlier was staring at her. “What?” She asked, wondering exactly what the prefect could be looking at.

“You should watch your back with that one,” The prefect cautioned, “You never know if you can trust a Slytherin. She already took a book from you. Who knows what she’ll take next? They’re dangerous.”

Vivienne grimaced at his words, slightly insulted that he thought she hadn’t noticed the book, but not caring enough about his opinion to say anything about it. “Um… sure, whatever.” She glanced back to where Ruby had finally succeeded in detangling Kat from her neck. Kat was giggling as she evaded her cousin’s attempts to bite her finger as she repeatedly tried to poke the taller girl’s nose. “Dangerous…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We don’t own Harry Potter, nor any of the fandoms that may be referenced in here.
> 
> Beta’d by ElvinHalfbloodWitch


	3. Chapter Two: Where Do You Belong?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Welcome to the House Of Slytherin,” Dylan announced after they had all quieted down. “My name is Nia Dylan, and I am one of your prefects this year.” She nudged the redheaded boy beside her.
> 
> “My name is Fred Weasley The Second,” He broke out in a smirk. “You can call me Fred, Weasley, Prank Master, Super Awesome Overlord Of Pranks, or—”
> 
> “Okay, we get the picture,” Dylan rolled her eyes at her fellow prefect’s antics.

“Mao!” A Slytherin prefect stood behind her, and Kat immediately withdrew her finger from where it had lain on Ruby’s nose.

Kat ran a hand through her hair, letting the hood slide off her head. “Uh, yeah?”

“Why are you over here instead of at Slytherin table?” The prefect—Nia Dylan, she remembered—demanded.

“I was seeing how my cousin was doing,” Kat smiled in a way that she hoped conveyed how she _totally_ had no clue that dinner was the only time they had to sit with their houses.

Dylan raised a skeptical eyebrow at the display. “And I suppose you have a cousin in Ravenclaw as well?”

“Nope,” Kat followed Dylan as she led the way back to the Slytherin table. “I was just going over there to bother an interesting baby bird.”

“Humph,” Dylan snorted, “Stay at the table for dinner in the future, Mao.”

“You’ve got it, captain!” Kat saluted the older girl as she obediently sat down next to the two non-pureblooded first years.

The muggleborn one on her right had snapped out of his shock at this point and was now raving about how it was so amazing that J.K. Rowling’s books were real or something like that. At least he had taste.

Kat ignored him and took out the book she _borrowed_ from Vivienne. The Ravenclaw really needed to be more aware of her things—Kat had literally stuck her hand inside the pocket and taken the book out. 

She opened to the first page and began reading. Perhaps it would give her some insight into the new school that her previous school in America had prepared her not for. What had her parents been thinking, moving to England only a month after school at Ilvermorny had started? At least a Horned Serpent was still a type of snake... 

In a blink of an eye, dinner was over. Kat was glad she had the foresight to eat before bothering the others, or else she would’ve been very grumpy at the moment. She winced as, all around her, the students of the school started loudly singing the school song to various tunes with… varying (zero to none) levels of skill.

The Slytherins and the Hufflepuffs all shuffled toward the staircase though the crowded hallway. After their descension into the torch-lit corridors, the two groups split away and the Slytherins traveled a bit further until they reached a blank wall.

 _“Calluna vulgaris,”_ Dylan said clearly.

Dylan and the other prefect stood at the front of the common room as all of the other years except for first dispersed to their dormitories.

“Welcome to the House Of Slytherin,” Dylan announced after they had all quieted down. “My name is Nia Dylan, and I am one of your prefects this year.” She nudged the redheaded boy beside her.

“My name is Fred Weasley The Second,” He broke out in a smirk. “You can call me Fred, Weasley, Prank Master, Super Awesome Overlord Of Pranks, or—”

“Okay, we get the picture,” Dylan rolled her eyes at her fellow prefect’s antics. “Snakelets, our current password is calluna vulgaris, which will change in a fortnight, so—”

“Yeah! Fortnite!”

Dylan glared at Weasley, shooting metaphorical daggers out of her eyes. “Say one more word about those dumb video games you see in crystal balls, and I will be _breaking_ your crystal balls.”

“Shit.” Weasley gulped, backing away from his partner. “I’m good, no thanks.”

“Great,” Dylan gave him a fake smile. “As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, our common room password changes every fortnight, and it’s chosen by us, so don’t piss us off. If you do anything overly annoying, you can guarantee that the password _will_ be something about you.”

Weasley gave a fake cough, “Fortnite,” cough.

Dylan looked at him calmly. “I will murder you in your sleep.” She turned back to the first years, “I hope that it’s not something I have to say, but don’t tell other houses our password, and don’t bring them here. Oh, and now that you’re in Slytherin, there is a high chance that a majority of the rest of the school will despise you for what house you are in. That is completely expected, and you are welcome to respond in any appropriate way that does that end with you getting caught.”

Weasley glanced at Dylan before speaking. “To the outside, Slytherin will show a united front. No matter who you don’t get along with in-house, you will assist each other outside of this common room. For instance,” he poked Dylan in the arm, “she needs to act like she actually likes me outside of the common room.”

Dylan stuck out her tongue at the wizard. “In Slytherin, we have a few simple rules: form a united front, don’t get caught, don’t publicly embarrass the house, and—most important—heed what Snape says because he probably knows better than you.” 

Weasley grinned, “He won’t take points from you, but you’ll be in detention for quite some time.”

Dylan looked at Weasley. “Don’t you still have detention this year for recklessly experimenting with potions?”

“Maybe.”

“He most certainly does,” A voice said from a dimly lit corner of the common room. Professor Snape strode out, his black robes flapping behind him. “If I ever catch any of you not observing proper safety requirements, detention will be the _least_ of your problems.” 

He stopped when he was next to the prefects. “My name is Professor Snape. I am the deputy headmaster, potions professor at Hogwarts, and I will be your Head Of House for the next seven years. My office hours are posted on the noticeboard, along with the current common room password and the WIFI password. If it’s urgent, ask a prefect for help to locate me. My office is to the left of the potions classroom, which the prefects will show you tomorrow.”

He stalked over to the other side of the prefects. “If you have a penchant for troublemaking—” his gaze lingered on Weasley, “you will find yourself in detention, where you will have to rectify your error. If it comes to it, I _will _ground you to the common room.”__

__“It doesn’t matter what views your families may have regarding blood status or leanings, but in Slytherin, your house _is_ your family. Silly feuds are not tolerated, nor is bullying of any sort. If you are bullied or you witness anything happening, tell me or a prefect.” Snape’s face softened in a way that Kat suspected would never be seen by anyone outside of Slytherin. “Have a good night, and welcome to Slytherin.”_ _

__Snape spun around dramatically and exited, his robes surrounding him like a bat’s wings._ _

__Kat grabbed a handful of her own robes and swished it back and forth, trying to mimic the effect._ _

__It didn’t work._ _

__~*~_ _

__“Hey, wake up.” A finger prodded Kat’s cheek._ _

__Kat groaned and snapped her teeth toward the appendage. “Go away.”_ _

__“It’s time for breakfast. The prefects said to wake everyone up.”_ _

__She opened her eyes to see one of her roommates, a dark-haired Filipino girl with black nails, glowering at her from beside her bed. “Hi. Sayaka, right?”_ _

__“Sayaka Izumi, yes.” Sayaka crossed her arms and cocked out a hip._ _

__Kat yawned and rubbed her eyes carefully. She reached over to the table beside her bed and grabbed her eye drops._ _

__“What are you doing?”_ _

__Kat let two drops fall in each eye. “Taking out my contacts. What does it look like?” She rolled out of bed and headed toward the bathroom, where she had set up all her stuff the night before._ _

__“What are contacts?” Asked the girl already in the bathroom. Kat vaguely recalled that her name was Alex or something like that._ _

__Kat washed her hands, uncapped her contact container, and took out what looked like a mini-toilet plunger. She stuck it in her eye._ _

__“Why are you touching your eye?” Sayaka sounded dead, which was hilarious to Kat._ _

__She pulled out the device, a clear object suctioned onto the surface. Kat pointed the thing toward the other Slytherin girl who’s name might be Alex. “This is a contact. It helps me see things so you’re not a dark blob.”_ _

__Sayaka scrunched up her nose. “Why don’t you just use that potion that lets you see things? Aren’t you a pureblood?”_ _

__Kat shrugged, taking out her other contact and sticking them in the solution. “Yeah, but I’m allergic to some ingredient in the potion.” She grabbed a towel and dried her face. “Are you two just going to stand there and stare at me?”_ _

__Maybe-Alex shook her head and left the bathroom with a wave._ _

__“No,” Sayaka crossed behind her and grabbed one of the tiny containers of paint (?) and a (yes, it’s a) paintbrush. She began applying it to her face._ _

__“What’s that?” Kat tried to ask through her toothbrush._ _

__Sayaka gave her a look that seriously doubted her sanity. “Makeup. Duh.”_ _

__Kat, who had finally finished brushing her teeth, grabbed her clothes from where they were wadded up in a pile on the table. “But you don’t need makeup. You look fine.”_ _

__“Yeah, but I like it.”_ _

__Kat shrugged. “Sure, whatever you say.” She finished dressing and went to the Great Hall, making sure that her black leggings and musical hoodie were well hidden under the robes. She knew that she was technically not breaking the dress code, but it was better to be safe than sorry._ _

__From what Sayaka had said, Kat had expected for almost everyone to be at breakfast already. Evidently, that was only true for Slytherin because the other three tables looked pitifully bare in comparison._ _

__“Hey.” A hand tapped on her shoulder._ _

__Kat looked up to see the human it was attached to. “Oh, hello, Vivienne.”_ _

__“Can I have my book back?” She raised an eyebrow, taking a seat next to Kat. “You are the least subtle Slytherin ever, you know?”_ _

__Kat smirked, taking out the book she had finished reading the night before and returning it to its owner. “The point wasn’t to be subtle, silly!” She booped Vivienne on the nose, which simultaneously slid the girl’s glasses back in place. “It was so that I’d make a memorable impression. Now there’s a likely chance you’ll remember my name.”_ _

__Vivienne snorted, “I sincerely hope that you aren’t going to try that tactic with our teachers.”_ _

__Kat rolled her eyes. “Of course not!” She snickered, “I’m going to say a bunch of macabre things in their class!”_ _

__Vivienne facepalmed. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”_ _

__“Yeah!” Kat grabbed a waffle from the stack and stuck it on her plate, drowning it in syrup. “Did you know that if I take a knife and cut you here—” She mimed drawing a horizontal line just under Vivienne’s stomach with the knife in her hand, “You’ll be alive for _hours,_ just bleeding with your guts falling out?” She stabbed the waffle and stuck it in her mouth whole._ _

__“That’s… nice to know.” Vivienne handed her a napkin. “You’re getting syrup everywhere, child. Also, did you know that if I filled a syringe with air and stuck it between your first and second toes you’d die and it would look like a heart attack?”_ _

__Kat shrugged, finishing chewing on her waffle. “Cleaning charms. Also, that works better if you do it somewhere less conspicuous. Like, who gets a shot between their toes? That pretty much screams murder! Do it on their arm, then stick a cute band-aid on it. The Aurors will just be like, ‘oh, they got a shot.’ Since the magical community has literally no clue how muggle stuff works in Britain, just do literally anything muggle.”_ _

__The two girls exchanged a look before collapsing into a fit of giggles, drawing confused looks the other Slytherins. Kat saw Weasley give them an amused glance from a couple of seats down the table. She almost stuck her tongue out at him, but refrained barely._ _

__“Plotting murder in broad daylight?” Snape handed Kat her schedule. “What’s the second rule of Slytherin?”_ _

__Kat smiled innocently at Snape. “Don’t get caught?”_ _

__“I must agree,” Flitwick nodded, walking up to give Vivienne her schedule._ _

__Vivienne thanked Flitwick, scanned it, and then looked over Kat’s shoulder to peek at hers._ _

__“Oh, thank Merlin Minerva didn’t stick the Slytherins with Gryffindor again.” Flitwick murmured to Snape as they walked away._ _

__Snape inclined his head in agreement. “Although, imagine the trouble _our_ houses could get into together.”_ _

__“Oh, you’re right.” Flitwick winced. “At least it’s not the Hufflepuffs as well, right?”_ _

__“Unfortunately for the rest of Hogwarts, Slytherins have a number of classes with Hufflepuff this year.”_ _

__Kat glances at Vivienne, an idea forming in her mind. “Hey, Viv, wanna go corrupt some ‘Puffs?”_ _

__Vivienne looked toward the table of yellow-clad children. “Sure.”_ _

__“Come meet my cousin Ruby. She likes biting people and eating fingers.”_ _

__Vivienne raised her eyebrows at Kat but followed her after snatching an apple from the Slytherin table._ _


	4. Chapter Three: I Know It's Today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ruby!” Kat bounded over to where Ruby was standing, dragging a confused-looking Slytherin girl behind her.
> 
> Ruby closed her eyes and counted to ten. She had specifically avoided seeing her cousin during lunch when the Slytherin had been bothering a Ravenclaw in the library. When in the world had she gotten time to kidnap another child?
> 
> “Rubyyyyyy!” Kat called, poking the Korean witch in the arm. “Meet T’alex! We’re gathering all of the Asian humans in our year together and forming a clique!”

“Ruby!” A voice squealed, and she braced herself for the concurrent attack that was bound the follow. A pair of robed arms wrapped around her from behind and clung to her.

Ruby calmly set down the fork in her hand. “Good morning, Kat.”

“Hiiiiiiiiiiiii!” Kat plopped down next to her, dragging a Ravenclaw eating an apple. The Ravenclaw blinked owlishly at her through round, silver glasses, looking somewhat startled. Ruby had discovered that most people looked that way after meeting Kat.

Ruby took the plate of sweets that her cousin had brought with her and pushed it further toward the middle of the table. “Who did you kidnap this time, Kat?”

“A baby dolphin bird,” Kat chirped, grabbing a donut.

The Ravenclaw took a bite of her apple. “That’s so unhealthy, Kat. You should at least eat some fruit.”

Kat stuck out her tongue at the Ravenclaw, grabbing a sugary pastry and stuffing it in her mouth. “I’m allergic, so ha!”

“To fruit?” The Ravenclaw paused, then looked down at her apple. “Will you get an allergic reaction if I touch you?” She took a step back.

Kat shrugged, dragging the girl down into the seat next to her. “Kinda, but just don’t touch me with your other hand and then wash your hands. It makes me really itchy and it’s annoying.”

The Ravenclaw winced. “Good to know.”

Ruby observed the interaction amusedly for a moment before nodding to the Ravenclaw. “I’m Ruby.”

The girl returned the nod. “Vivienne.”

Kat cheered. “And now you shall be best friends!” She tried to push them both into a hug but Ruby smacked her on the arm and she let go, pouting.

“Ruby is being a meanie,” Kat turned away and faced the girl on the other side of the table, who happened to also be in the same dormitory as Ruby. The girl had dark hair that was more brown than black with olive toned skin. There was something almost doe-like about her. “Hi, I’m Kat. What’s your name?”

“Um… Valorie Lai-Dorian.” Valorie’s big eyes looked surprised at being addressed. “You’re that girl from America, right?”

“Ugh,” Ruby’s cousin sighed. When she spoke again, her accent had switched to American. “Is it that obvious?”

“Nah,” Valorie dabbed at her face with a napkin. “My mum’s on the school board, so I get all the gossip.”

“We have a school board?” Vivienne tilted her head, looking to the Slytherin, who shrugged.

“Well, no, we have a board of governors. It says so in Hogwarts: A History.” Kat pulled out her copy, dangling in front of Vivienne. Her accent had switched yet again, something that she did to annoy Ruby.

“Right, ‘cause everything is so specifically stated in that textbook.” Ruby checked her schedule that she had received earlier. “Why are we with the Gryffindors for Herbology? They’re going to cause so much trouble.”

Valorie snorted, standing up and smoothing out her robes. “Potter Jr.’s in our year. You bet there’ll be so much trouble.”

Ruby groaned, looking over to where the dark-haired boy sat at the Gryffindor table, goofing off with his classmates. “I wonder how Professor Potter’s going to be in class.”

 _“Harry Potter’s_ a teacher here?”

One look at Vivienne, and Ruby knew that the Ravenclaw had definitely read the books. “No, Ginny Potter. She teaches Defense Against The Dark Arts.”

“Ooh!” Vivienne poked Kat on the shoulder. “I think I have that class with Gryffindor. What qualifies as ‘Dark Arts?’”

Kat wiggled around in her seat, likely because of all the sugar she had undoubtedly consumed. “Literally any magic that brings harm.” She giggled, “Okay, it’s not as clear cut as that. As certain people want you to believe, can harm people, but dark magic is anything that requires anything other than your own magic. When you cast dark magic, you’re drawing from the elements, blood, soul, etc. People just don’t really like it because _certain idiots_ overdid it and kinda went batshit crazy.”

“Language,” Ruby scolded. “And stop corrupting innocent children.”

“Aw!” Kat flung her arms around Vivienne protectively. “But she’s so fun! We discussed how to kill people earlier!” 

“Oh no,” Ruby muttered, “there’s _two_ of them.” She looked up at Valorie. “My advice is to run while you can. Sooner or later, Kat’s going to get to you otherwise.”

“Come to the dark side!” Kat cackled gleefully. “We have cookies!”

Vivienne laughed. “Ah yes, cookies. The irresistible temptation!” She put a hand to her forehead dramatically.

“Oh, how could I ever resist?” Valorie gasped theatrically.

“Really?” Ruby gave them a sweeping dirty look. “I’m going to leave now. I expect that by the time our first class starts, all of you will be back to the closest semblance of ‘normal’ that you can achieve.” She slapped Kat’s hand as she reached for a lemon tart. “And, for the sake of everyone residing in this castle, keep Kat away from more sugar?” 

“No promises,” Valorie smiled innocently and Vivienne giggled. Ruby just sighed, slinging her bag over her shoulder and walking out of the Great Hall. As she walked, she tugged out her schedule to see what class she had. _Free Period._

Ruby stopped for a second to give her schedule an exasperated look. She couldn't very well wander around for the next hour and a half, and Kat would never let her hear the end of it if she walked back into the Great Hall. What was she supposed to do…

She decided to sleep. 

~*~

She was woken unpleasantly as something heavy fell on top of her. Yelping, she gasped and tried to regain her breath, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in her side. The heavy object, which appeared to be a human child, began to apologize profusely as she tried to get off of Ruby. Finally pulling herself together, the girl looked down at her and Ruby met the apologetic eyes of Valorie. The other Hufflepuff reached out a hand, which Ruby accepted, and pulled her to her feet. It was then that Ruby realized that she’d been lying on the floor.

“Why—” Ruby began, but was quickly interrupted.

“I’m so so sorry!” Valorie exclaimed. “I went upstairs to grab my things and didn’t see you on the floor when I was leaving!”

Ruby sighed. Of course, she’d fallen on the floor in her sleep. Grabbing her own bag, which she had put on the table before laying on the couch in the common room, she began walking to Herbology with Valorie, who was still apologizing and asking if she was okay. 

“Can you stop?” Ruby snapped, whirling around after the younger girl had apologized for, what felt like, the hundredth time. She pushed the doors open to the outside, perhaps using a bit more force than necessary.

Valorie stopped, thankfully, but then she got a hurt look on her face. She cast her eyes toward the ground and started sniffling slightly.

Ruby sighed in annoyance. Why was she stuck with a girl that was so… Hufflepuff-ish? “Hey,” She forced her face to become comforting, “are you okay?”

“Hm?” Valorie looked up, and Ruby could see that her eyes were red.

Ruby silently cursed in her head. It wouldn’t be good for her to make an enemy of one of her roommates on the first day. “I’m sorry I snapped at you,” She said stiffly.

Valorie wiped her eyes in her sleeves before looking at Ruby with a confused expression. “Apology accepted? I mean—” sniff, “I know I say sorry too much—” sniff, “and that other people find it annoying.” sniff, “it’s okay.”

“You’re crying,” Ruby said blankly, wondering how to get her to stop.

“Oh,” Valorie laughed, taking a tissue out of her pocket and blowing her nose. “Nope, not crying.” She rubbed her nose, “I just have really weird allergies.”

Ruby relaxed slightly. Her cousin had a _ton_ of allergies as well, and she knew of some remedies that may help the halfblood girl. “There’s a spell that’ll help with that.”

Valorie perked up, her red-rimmed eyes glimmering with new-found hope.

“Buuuuut,” Ruby added, “I have no clue how to cast it. Maybe Professor Longbottom can help you. Assuming we get to class on time.”

Both girls began to run across the grounds, which were mostly empty, aside from the few stragglers like themselves. Finally, they found the Herbology greenhouse and dashed inside. The curtains had been drawn and the room felt damp.

“Miss Kim, Miss Lai-Dorian, so nice of you to join us, albeit _after_ our class has already started.” Huffing and panting, Ruby looked up from the floor to see Professor Longbottom and the rest of their class giving them unimpressed looks. 

“Sorry, Professor. We,” huff, “got lost.” Valorie tried to explain through her wheezes. She sneezed. “Sorry, allergies.”

The Professor sighed. “Very well, but I hope it won’t be happening again. Since you two are the last ones here, you both can be partners.” He turned to face the class. “Today we will be learning to deal with a plant known as Devil’s Snare. Can anyone tell me what that is?”

A Hufflepuff boy on the other side of the classroom raised his hand and Professor Longbottom pointed at him. “Devil’s Snare, according to _One Thousand Magical Plants and Fungi,_ is a plant with thick, tentacle-like appendages that survives in a dark and damp environment. It latches on to anything within its reach. Struggling against the plant only causes it to coil tighter but it can be repelled by warmth and light.”

Professor Longbottom raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t know Professor Granger had a son in Hufflepuff. What’s your name?”

The boy blushed as his friend nudged him with a snicker. “Not related to Professor Granger, sir. My name is Will Rene.” 

“Well, Mr. Rene, ten points to Hufflepuff, and you are indeed correct. Devil’s Snare shies away from heat and light. That’s why today we will be learning how to perform a charm to produce sunlight.”

Longbottom drew his wand and quietly intoned, _“Lumos Solem,”_ and a bright flash of light filled the greenhouse.

Cries from the sudden blindness filled the greenhouse as the Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors complained about the luminosity. Ruby shielded her eyes, blinking away the spots of multicolored light in her vision. She noted that the plant on the table had seemed to shrink after the glow had been emitted.

Ruby let out a quiet sigh. She decided to count it a successful lesson if she still had her eyesight by the end of it. Oh, how she wished her bag was like Kat’s, where there was literally everything anyone could possibly need at any point of time. She would have given a lot for a pair of sunglasses. Unfortunately, she herself lacked such assistance, so she was forced to resign herself to the remainder of the class.

~*~

“Ruby!” Kat bounded over to where Ruby was standing, dragging a confused-looking Slytherin girl behind her.

Ruby closed her eyes and counted to ten. She had specifically avoided seeing her cousin during lunch when the Slytherin had been bothering a Ravenclaw in the library. When in the world had she gotten time to kidnap _another_ child?

“Rubyyyyyy!” Kat called, poking the Korean witch in the arm. “Meet T’alex! We’re gathering all of the Asian humans in our year together and forming a clique!” She looked delighted at the prospect of excluding other people.

Ruby blinked in confusion. “I thought you were bothering that Ravenclaw girl in the library? Are you going to exclude her?”

“Vivienne’s 25% Asian,” Kat replied cheerfully. “It counts.”

T’alex raised her hand, “Uh, let me just say that the clique thing wasn’t my idea.”

Ruby shrugged, “It’s never anyone but Kat’s.”

Kat gave an offended gasp. “Are you saying that I’m a bad influence?” She flung a hand to her chest, pretending to faint.

“Yes,” Ruby deadpanned, unresponsive to Kat’s thespian activities.

Kat gave an unconvincing whimper and begun fake-sobbing. “I thought you loved me, Ruby! How could you betray me like this?” She paused, then declared, “That’s it! You’re disowned!”

Ruby raised an eyebrow at the continued dramatics of her cousin. “How horrible. I suppose I shall just die from heartbreak.”

Kat straightened back up. “Nuuuu. The Ruby will stay alive forever and ever.” She wrapped her arms around her cousin. “There is no escape from me!”

Ruby gave Valorie and T’alex a look. “This is what you’re signing up for,” she pointed at the two-limbed octopus currently trying to squeeze her to death.

“She’s my roommate,” T’alex pushed her glasses up, “there's not much I can do.”

 _“Run,”_ Ruby whispered loudly. “Before it’s too late.”

Kat gave a quiet giggle, her hold on her cousin tightening. Ruby felt like her ribs were in danger of being crushed. “Haven’t I already said?” Kat smiled innocently, “There is _no_ escape.”

Ruby watched the arm wrapped around her shoulders. When the moment was perfect, she tilted her head down and clamped her teeth shut.

“Hey!” Kat moved her arm to avoid her appendage becoming the example of how dentition could be used to trace back the culprit of a crime. As a result, her grip loosened enough for Ruby to slip out of her grasp and take off running.

“You can run, but you can’t hide!” Kat yelled after her, not even attempting to give chase when Ruby glanced back.

Ruby ignored the confused looks her classmates were giving her when she arrived at where the flying lessons were located. 

“Is there some sort of monster you are on the run from?” The professor asked in amusement.

Ruby flushed from embarrassment. “Uh, does my cousin count?”

Professor Chang smiled, looking toward where Valorie, T’alex, and Kat were slowly walking toward the flying area. “Not quite.”

“You obviously haven’t met my cousin yet,” Ruby muttered, tying her hair up so that the September sun didn’t melt her. Even though it was only about fifteen degrees celsius outside—or about sixty degrees Fahrenheit, as Kat preferred to say—the three sweaters she was wearing made it way too warm for her.

“Question,” Kat raised her hand, now only a few feet away. “Professor Chang, how does one fly on a broomstick in robes without tripping?” She held up the lower portion of her robes. “Like, I can barely walk in them.”

Professor Chang seemed to be about to answer but then looked as if she had become distracted by something else. Her sharp Seeker eyes focused on the colorful design of Kat’s leggings by her ankles, which had been revealed when the robes were moved. “Why aren’t you wearing your uniform, Miss Mao?” Chang questioned.

Kat glanced down. “Oh, I am wearing my uniform.” She reached into the small, crossbody purse that she had brought with her everywhere ever since it had been charmed to hold infinite space. “It’s here—” she stuck her entire arm into the bag, a look of concentration upon her features. “Uh, somewhere.” She rummaged around a bit before a look of satisfaction appeared. “Aha!” 

She held up a crumpled piece of parchment in front of her face and began to read. “‘Uniform: First-year students will require: Three sets of plain work robes (black), one plain pointed hat (black) for day wear, one pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar), one winter cloak (black, silver fastenings). Please note that all pupils’ clothes should carry name tags.’” She stuck the paper back into her bag.

Kat looked down. “One robe, check. One hat—” she stuck her hand back inside and emerged with a pointed hat, “check.” She smoothed it out and stuck it on her head. “I think that’s it.” She smiled innocently at the adult. “Oh, am I supposed to wear it all at the same time?”

Chang’s face held a look of extreme exasperation, and Ruby knew that they were in for a rough year in flying lessons. Oh, why did her cousin have to always provoke authority figures and exploit every loophole? She gave a tired sigh as she resigned herself to another year of Kat making all of the grown-ups around them hate them both—Kat for being Kat, and Ruby because people were blind and couldn’t tell the difference between one Korean girl with glasses and one Chinese girl without glasses.

“Why do you do this every year?” Ruby hissed as they made their way toward where the other students were waiting.

Kat tilted her head. “What do you mean? She asked why I wasn’t wearing my uniform, and I answered. It’s not like I refused to say the United States pledge again.” She paused, then a look of evil delight spread across her face. “Ha! I don’t have to say the pledge ever again!” She gave a gleeful cackle and skipped the rest of the way.

Ruby looked to see how Valorie and T’alex were reacting to Kat, only to see they hadn’t been paying attention. She shook her head and trudged after Kat, who was now hopping around as if she had just eaten an entire candy store.

When she arrived at where the other students were, she heard Kat introducing herself to their classmates. Well, introducing was one way to put it.

“Hi, my name is Kat!” Kat circled one of Ruby’s roommates. “I have a problem with authority. Ruby’s my cousin. I think she’s your roommate because I’ve been watching you all.”

Great. Kat was stalking people again. Ruby questioned to herself what she had done to deserve such a punishment; to be stuck with Kat for the remainder of their natural lives. Was it because of that boy she’d punched in kindergarten? Maybe that girl she’d stabbed with a pencil in first grade? Whatever it was, it wasn’t worthy of such a punishment.

“Join the dark side!” Kat was currently exclaiming at all of the Hufflepuffs present. “It’s fun! Also, we have sugar!”

 _Time for some Kat corralling!_ Ruby told herself, walking over and pulling Kat away from the perplexed children. “Stop scaring the kids, Kat.”

Kat rolled her eyes. “Ugh, why do you have to ruin the fun every time?” She huffed. “Oh well, time to go bother T’alex and Valorie.”

“Kaaaaaaaat,” Ruby groaned, trudging after her. She hoped that, at the very least, no one would die or be permanently damaged because of the flying lesson. Although, judging by the squealing noises escaping Kat’s mouth, that was not a wager Ruby would be willing to join.


	5. Chapter Four: At The End Of The Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus wondered if it would’ve been easier if Potter was at the center of all the drama. At least he knew how to deal with _him._ Teenage girls? Even after all his years of teaching them, he still had no clue what went on in their brains.
> 
> “Oh, Snape?” Wang called in a sing-song voice, holding up his phone. “Did you know there are _movies_ about _Potter?”_

It was after the last class of the first day of Hogwarts. Professors Severus Snape and Michael Wang were sitting in the teacher’s lounge, halfway through the free period before dinner, both occupied with what was in their hands. Severus occasionally glanced up from his book to see the other halfblood playing away on his phone app. Their quiet peace was disrupted when the door opened with a slam.

“Snape, get a hold of your Slytherins, please!” Chang entered the staff room and flung herself into her chair, pouring herself a large cup of coffee and dumping an ungodly amount of sugar cubes into it. She stirred furiously, occasionally letting out an annoyed noise.

Severus calmly looked up from his potions text at the Ravenclaw. “What seemed to be the problem, Professor Chang?” He wondered if it was the group of officially unknown fifth year pranksters bothering her again. There was no doubt that they included his Slytherin prefects, but there was no way Chang could prove it.

“One of your first years—” Chang took a sip of her drink, only to spit it back out with a swear about the temperature. “Katerina Mao is going to be a troublemaker, that one.”

Severus thought back to the small girl he had observed earlier that day at breakfast, casually discussing with Favero ways to kill people. “The transfer from Ilvermorny?” He asked instead, watching for an idea of what had occurred. It couldn’t have been too horrible, seeing that he hadn’t been called to deal with it. That meant no one had gotten stabbed with a broom—a welcome change from the year before.

Chang cast a small cooling charm on her cup and took a long drink before answering. “Mao wasn’t wearing her entire uniform today, when she showed up for my class!” She declared, “Then she had the _audacity_ to talk back at me and say she was!” She took another drink. “Why, I was in such a state of shock at her rudeness that I didn’t respond immediately, and she walked away from me!” She frowned at Severus. “You simply have to do something about it! Talk to her!”

Severus held in a long-suffering sigh. “What exactly did she do? She was wearing her uniform this morning at breakfast.”

“Oh, was she the one that Favero was talking about killing someone with air with?” Wang took out a charger and plugged his phone into the wall outlet—a comparatively new addition to Hogwarts. “That seemed like an interesting conversation.”

Severus nearly gave a twitch of amusement at the young teacher's words. Wang’s first year as a student at Hogwarts also happened to be the year Severus had unfortunately been Headmaster. It meant the other Slytherin simply didn’t fear any teachers, after what had happened with the Carrow twins.

“She was only wearing her robes!” Chang fumed, standing up and grabbing the Hogwarts Rulebook off the shelves. She flipped through it, scanning the pages quickly.

Severus blinked. The Slytherin certainly had not been nude at breakfast or his morning classes. He most definitely would have noticed if she was breaking the dress code in such a flagrant way.

“She was wearing clothing _under_ her robes, though, right?”

“But not her _hat,”_ Chang waved off, still looking through the pages.

Severus let out a breath. That explained a lot more. Mao was obviously able to discover and use loopholes that were provided. Chang’s imprecision of words weren’t helping her case either. “Professor Chang.”

Chang stopped flipping though the book at the sound of Severus using his ‘teacher voice’.

“I believe the answer you’re looking for is on page three hundred and ninety-four.” Severus suggested, going back into what he had been reading. A few moments of complete silence later, he turned his gaze back up again. Chang was staring at the book in shocked disbelief, a view that was almost amusing.

 _“Cat_ got your tongue?” Wang raised an eyebrow. Chang glared at him. As they had a silent staring contest, Granger and Longbottom walked in, chatting amiably.

“There’s a mini you in Hufflepuff, Hermione,” Longbottom was saying. “His name is Will Rene. I thought he was your kid at first, to be honest. His friend, Nico Bianco, I think his name was, wouldn’t stop teasing him about it.”

“Oh, I know those two!” Chang, abandoning the staring contest in favor of gossip, turned with a grin. “Rene was a natural in my class. I think Bianco very much prefers to keep his feet on the ground, although he didn’t seem very happy when Rene kept yelling about being taller than him.”

Granger raised an eyebrow. “In Hufflepuff? I’ll be seeing them tomorrow then.”

“You’ll also be seeing Favero,” Severus joined the conversation. “I pray for your sake that Mao hasn’t corrupted her quite so soon. If you have a Ravenclaw-Slytherin class, well…” He wordlessly gestured toward Chang.

“I don’t.” Granger said with a grimace. “But the first year Slytherins are with Gryffindor for my class.” She looked towards the door as it opened and Professor Weasley walked in, looking cheerful.

“What has you in such a good mood?” Longbottom asked. Weasley grinned. “Well, first of all, I didn’t have any classes to teach today,” the others shot her envious looks. “And James hasn’t blown anything up yet.”

Granger laughed. “I think your son refraining from blowing things up is a win for everyone.”

“If he blows something up in my lab, Weasley—” Severus leveled the redhead with a glare. “You will not like the consequences.”

“You’ve lost your touch, Severus.” Filius chuckled from his spot in the corner. No one was really sure when he got there. “The sight of your glare used to make students cower in fear. Speaking of students, how many do you think will fail your class this year?”

“Less than Wang’s,” Severus said smoothly, looking at their staff’s youngest member. “He may break my record for making the most students cry and have breakdowns.”

“Hey, they chose to accept this torture,” Wang shrugged. “Arithmancy is an elective class.”

Granger tilted her head. “So are the smart ones the ones who take it and succeed, or the ones who choose not to take it all?”

Wang shrugged. He seemed to do that a lot. “I guess we’ll have to wait and see.” He took out his phone, turned it horizontally, and began tapping the screen incessantly. 

Flitwick peered at it curiously. “Is that one of those newfangled gadgets that you youngsters are always fiddling with?”

Wang facepalmed. “This ‘newfangled gadget’ is called a _phone,_ and they’ve been around for,” he paused. “A while. Ish.” 

Before Flitwick could respond, Minerva strode into the lounge. “So this is where most of my staff have been hiding. Come on, you lot, it’s time for dinner.”

Tired groans accompanied the over-dramatized motions of getting out of their seats. Weasley wriggled out of her chair like a worm and landed on the floor in a heap of dark robes and wavy red hair. She pouted from her position and crossed arms. “But I was having such a nice child-free day!”

“Do we have to?” Chang asked, sounding for all the world like a petulant child. Minerva only had to raise an eyebrow and the flying instructor stood from her chair and practically sprinted out of the room.

“Oh for crying out loud, we’re going to have dinner, not be issued a death sentence.” The headmistress shook her head in exasperation. 

Severus smirked at her expense. “I hope you’re prepared to do this everyday.”

Minerva gave him and the others a long look. “No. This is your first and last warning. If you don’t get to dinner on time, unless it’s a legitimate emergency, you can miss it. And then you can deal with a barrage of questions from the students wondering where you were and if you’re ill.”

No one could get out of the room fast enough.

~*~

“Severus,” Wang nudged him in the arm as they entered the Great Hall and seated themselves. “Look what I found.”

Severus accepted the phone and quickly scanned the contents of the page as food began appearing on the table. “...Why are you reading this drivel that Skeeter wrote?”

Wang laughed and took the phone back. “It’s not the original books, it’s fanfiction. Look, here’s one where you’re together with Minerva.”

Severus stopped putting food on his plate and contemplated the consequences of cursing his coworker, running through a list of spells from his Death Eater days. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Oh, here’s one about you and—uh… Filch?” Wang scrunched his nose. _“Okay…_ That’s an interesting choice.”

“Michael Middle Name Wang.” Severus crossed his arms, “I _will_ write your mother.”

“You wouldn’t.” Wang replied dismissively. “Besides, she wouldn’t care. She’s probably just happy I’m out of the house.” He swiped at the screen. “Oooh, there’s one where you’re with Granger.”

Severus almost spat out his pumpkin juice. “I will stab you. And then I will put Veritaserum in your drink and force you to tell your deepest, darkest secrets. To the entire school.” He paused, then got an idea. “Can I see that?” Wang gave him his phone, and Severus quickly scrolled until he found something sufficient. “Granger.”

“Oh shit.” Wang tried to grab his phone back, but he was too late.

“Yes?” Granger stopped her conversation with Weasley and looked toward him.

“Professor Wang here was just showing me a _fascinating_ thing he discovered on the internet,” Severus hid his oncoming amusement. He delivered the phone to her and waited.

Granger, ever the fast reader, had finished reading the page almost instantly. “What?” Her face was as red as her companion’s hair. “WHY DOES THIS EXIST?”

“What is it?” Weasley took the phone and read it before spitting her tea back into its cup. “Ugh, ew! Seriously, Wang?”

“Hey, don’t shoot the messenger.” 

“But why are you reading it? Or looking at it?” Granger had buried her head in her hands and Severus looked to Wang, waiting for an answer.

Wang shrugged, “Some of the fifth year Ravenclaws were talking about some fanfiction they were writing about you. I decided to take a look.”

Granger shook her head. “But me and _Voldemort?”_ She looked over at the Ravenclaw table. “Thirty points from Ravenclaw for showing this stuff exists.”

They all glanced at the Ravenclaw table for a moment, just in time to see a young student topple out of her chair with a yelp. “WHAT IS THAT? WHY WOULD YOU SHOW ME? MY EYES!!!” The student next to her looked startled, barely catching the phone the girl tossed at her. 

A Slytherin girl ran over and whispered something to the girl sitting on the floor, who replied quietly. The Slytherin burst out laughing and snatched the phone from the girl still sitting on the table. She tapped it a few times and gave it back as a series of beeping noises began to echo throughout the Great Hall.

“Miss Favero.” Flitwick rose from his seat and looked sternly at the Ravenclaw girl still on the floor. “What in Merlin’s name are you doing?” The Ravenclaw just yanked her hood over her flushed face in an effort to hide it and pointed at the girl who’d she’d been sitting next too.

Just then her Slytherin friend gave a loud cackle. “Oh shit! Look at this!”

“Miss Mao,” Severus stood up and gave her an exasperated look. “Language.”

“Sorry!” Mao giggled, typing something on her phone. “Who names their airdrop ‘Mini Cat’?”

Severus glanced toward Minerva, who’s cheeks looked a shade more red than they had previously.

Favero checked her phone and then covered her eyes. “KAT!”

Kim, Mao’s Hufflepuff cousin walked over to the Ravenclaw table, holding her phone. “Katerina Mao! What did you just send me? WHY would you send that?”

“It’s not my fault!” Mao replied, pouting. She gestured to the seated Ravenclaw’s phone. “It just happens that the internet really loves our teachers! And some people have... _interesting_ taste in writing.” 

“I DID NOT NEED TO SEE A FIFTY THOUSAND WORD NOVEL THAT IS ALL ABOUT SNAPE AND HARRY POTTER SNOGGING!”

Favero peeked out from under her hood to make a disgusted face at her fellow Ravenclaw and looked at Flitwick as if to say, _My reaction was justified, please don’t give me detention._

“There were PICTURES!” Someone yelled.

By this time, the entire Great Hall had gone silent and most of the students were either staring at their phones or the Ravenclaw table. The rest were looking at the professors.

Severus glanced over at the Gryffindor table. At least Potter Jr. wasn’t in the Great Hall yet. Thank Merlin for small mercies. Then he winced and looked at Weasley. Potter’s wife was as red as her hair.

“Hey, at least I didn’t send the one where the giant squid fu—” Kim covered Mao’s mouth. She removed it after a few moments and Mao shrugged. “What? That was on _her_ phone.” She pointed at the other Ravenclaw girl, then helped Favero to her feet and took off the girl’s hood to pat her hair. “The little birdy must be scarred for life.”

Wang snickered. “I’ll bet.” He wrinkled his nose. “What’s the name of the girl who showed Favero that? She’s not the same one as the ones in my class.” He looked at Flitwick.

Flitwick was still just staring at the Ravenclaw table. Without looking at Wang he said, “The Slytherin is Miss Mao, the one Chang was talking about.”

“Loophole girl?” Wang raised an eyebrow. “But no, I meant the Ravenclaw.”

Flitwick nodded. “The fifth year Ravenclaw is Miss Brown, and the first year is Vivienne Favero.”

Chang, who had been watching the scene in shock, turned to stare at Flitwick. “Lavender’s daughter?”

Flitwick nodded.

Chang rubbed her temples. “She’s in Ravenclaw? And reading... _that?_ Also, I told you she’s a troublemaker, Snape.” She gestured at Mao.

“In my defense,” Mao giggled, looping an arm around Favero’s shoulders, “I’m high.”

Severus felt his eyebrows raise in alarm. “Miss Mao?”

“I ate a grape!” She poked her cousin on the nose. “It was squishy.”

“You’re allergic, you absolute pancake!” Favero stared at Mao in horror while Kim looked like it was a usual occurrence for her. She stared at the professors’ table, looking like she was unsure who to direct her question too. “Can I take her to Hospital Wing?”

Mao snickered and ruffled Favero’s hair. “Noooooooope. The Ruby is ze fluffy pancake, not meeeeee! She goes squish!” She made her palms collide together, mimicking a person being smashed into a pancake.

Kim placed a hand on the concerned Ravenclaw’s shoulder. “She’ll be fine. She doesn’t need to go to the nurse.”

“Ooh!” Mao looked at the table of food. “Watermelon!” She reached toward the red and green fruit. “Sugarrrrrrrrr!”

“No!” Favero smacked her hand away. She looked more anxious than the situation probably required. Severus thought that was understandable considering who she was handling, but still.

Mao pouted, turning away from her friend. “Meanie! Humph! I’m going to the Hufflepuff dorms! Your roommate has a cat, Ruby! Kitty kitty kitty!”

“Kat… you’re allergic to cats as well. And no corrupting my housemates.” Ruby shook her head bemusedly.

Kat shrugged, swaying side to side on the bench. “Only to the skin!” She sang, “What’s the thingy that people say? Oh yeah! There’s more than one way to skin a cat!”

“You are not skinning Ariel’s cat.”

“Why not?” Mao was attempting to wobble around in circles, but Favero wrapped her arms around the Slytherin to keep her from moving. 

“Ruby, what do we do???” Favero glared around at all the students still watching. “If you aren’t going to help, go back to whatever useless things you were doing and stop staring or so help me I will find a way to fill all your robes with itching powder.”

Severus didn’t think Favero looked very threatening, with her arms looped around Mao like a koala, but the other students seemed to think she’d make good on her threat because most of them went back to eating. 

“Cat! Cat! Cat! Cat!” Mao flapped her hands like a bird.

Severus made a note to look into what appeared to be a very _extensive_ list of allergens, as well as alternatives that would not result in his student getting high every breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

“According to the google, epinephrine shots are adrenaline or something like that. My body must be making a bunch to undo the grape.” Mao tilted to the side, nearly falling off of the seat. “I assume that is why I am being high. Because adrenaline makes allergies better?” She shrugged, trying to lick Favero’s arm.

Favero gave her a look and moved her arm down. “Do you _want_ to fall?”

“Every action has an equal opposite reaction. John Adams sha—” Kim stuck a chocolate frog into Mao’s mouth.

“What?” 

“Mmmmm,” Mao happily munched her chocolate frog, a feat quite impressive since the frog was about the size of a third of her head. Favero just looked glad that it wasn’t her hand that was being munched on. She looked understandably tired. Severus remembered that they’d both had his class that morning. He didn’t recall any explosions or _extremely_ horrific potions, so he assumed they’d done fairly well.

“Just stick her in the library with a book,” Kim suggested, poking Mao in the arm with a finger. “It’ll wear off in half an hour or so.” She looked up at Severus with innocence written across her face. “I mean, I would put her in her dorm, but I don’t have the password. Oh, and I also don’t know where they are.”

Severus sighed and looked toward the Slytherin table, seeing that one of his prefects had already eaten. “Dylan, could you take them down to the dormitories?”

“Sure, Professor Snape,” Dylan stood up and herded the three eleven-year-olds out of the Great Hall.

Severus wondered if it would’ve been easier if Potter was at the center of all the drama. At least he knew how to deal with _him._ Teenage girls? Even after all his years of teaching them, he still had no clue what went on in their brains.

“Oh, Snape?” Wang called in a sing-song voice, holding up his phone. “Did you know there are _movies_ about _Potter?”_


	6. Chapter Five: A Friend Like Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m the person that’s going to solve all of your problems!” The girl said unenthusiastically. She looked like she was maybe a year or two younger than Valorie, who was only a month into being eleven. “My name is Noel, and I am your new genie.” She did jazz hands. “Hooray.”
> 
> “Wh—What?”
> 
> A frustrated look came upon Noel’s face. “Okay, let’s go over this slowly. I am Noel. You are the person who summoned me.” She enunciated each word carefully. “I grant wishes—” She flicked her fingers, “Poof! Magic!”
> 
> “You can—You can grant wishes?” Valorie’s head was spinning. It sounded like something that came out of a book.
> 
> Noel rolled her eyes. “A real genius, this one.”

Valorie Lai-Dorian had fallen asleep after her last class of the day and was now drastically late for dinner. She hoped it wasn’t already over, but she had no way of telling time because she’d forgotten to plug her phone in.

She bit back a cry of pain as she turned a corner and collided into what seemed like a wall covered in fabric. As she lay, sprawled on the ground, she looked up and saw a large Gryffindor boy flanked by a Ravenclaw and a shorter Gryffindor.

“Oh, sorry…” She whispered, looking down. A chunk of her long brown hair fell in front of her face, hiding a small tear that trickled out of her eye.

 _“Sorry!”_ The Gryffindor mimicked in a high-pitched voice. He looked down at her, his large nostrils flaring and revealing boogers clogging the dark hairs in his nose, which Valorie could see clearly from her position on the ground.

Valorie tucked her hair back behind her ear and stood up. “Sorry I bumped into you.” She tried to walk to the Great Hall but was stopped by a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, you’re a veela, right?” The Ravenclaw asked. His voice was kinder than the other boy’s.

Valorie nodded silently, wiping her face with a sleeve. “An eighth, but yeah. Technically.”

The other Gryffindor gave a chortle and wolf-whistled. “Whooo! You’ve caught yourself a nice one, Bennett!”

Valorie gave them a disgusted look and drew her wand. She had been apologetic a moment ago, but now she was mad. She might be a first year against what looked like fourth years, but she had a few sticks up her sleeve that her Aunt Fleur had taught her.

Actually… it would prove more effective if she showed she could beast them with a mere first-year spell. Also, she wasn’t sure which of Fleur’s spells were exactly legal. _“Lumos Solem!”_ She pointed her wand directly at eye-level of the older students.

As they were temporarily blinded, Valorie ran away from them and up the stairs, trying to find Victoire up in Ravenclaw Tower because the older girl had warned her about this potentially happening to her.

She didn’t know how many flights of stairs she had climbed, but by the time she was far away from the dungeons, she was exhausted. Valorie looked down an empty hallway and took a seat by a wall, wishing there was somewhere she could just hide from all the expectations and people.

“Ah!” Valorie yelped as she fell through the wall into a hidden room. She stood up, dusting her robes off as she examined the room she was now in. “What is this place?” She asked herself, surveying the room covered in ash. It reminded her of that time she’d nearly burned the house down while making tea (aka boiling water).

She walked further into the room, not minding how the dark dust clung onto her white socks. She noticed a glint in a corner and went closer. “What’s this?”

Valorie picked up the shiny thing and dusted it off. “A ring?” She admired the simple design of delicate silver leaves. “Pretty,” She muttered, going back towards the entrance when her foot collided with something hard. “Ow!” She slipped the ring into a pocket and bent down to inspect what she’d just crashed into. 

“A… metal teapot?” Valorie guessed, picking it up and wiping off the dust with a sleeve. “WOAH!” She fell back as a dark smoke came out of the pot, reminiscent of the mode of transportation Death Eaters used when her mum had described it.

A… person formed, raising her suspicions. Valorie raised her wand, a slightly not maybe legal curse on the tip of her tongue. “Who are you?”

“I’m the person that’s going to solve all of your problems!” The girl said unenthusiastically. She looked like she was maybe a year or two younger than Valorie, who was only a month into being eleven. “My name is Noel, and I am your new genie.” She did jazz hands. “Hooray.”

“Wh—What?”

A frustrated look came upon Noel’s face. “Okay, let’s go over this slowly. I am Noel. You are the person who summoned me.” She enunciated each word carefully. “I grant wishes—” She flicked her fingers, “Poof! Magic!”

“You can—You can grant wishes?” Valorie’s head was spinning. It sounded like something that came out of a book.

Noel rolled her eyes. “A real genius, this one.”

Valorie crossed her arms in annoyance. “Hey, I was shocked, but now I’m good.” She let a flame flicker across her fingertips, part of her Veela heritage that remained. She smirked at Noel’s shocked expression. “You’re not the only one who can do magic, you know.”

“You’re a magic user!” Noel gasped, coming alive in ways she hadn’t previously. “I haven't seen another magic user for so fucking long!”

“Language,” Valorie smiled, “So you said I get wishes?”

“Yeah! You get three!” Noel chirped, darting around the room. “You know, I can do magic without you making wishes. Maybe instead of making wishes, say ‘could you do’ insert request here? That way I can stay out as long as possible, and you can get unlimited wishes.”

“Sure,” Valorie tilted her head, “but you’ll probably need to find a way to get enrolled here or something. Otherwise, it’d be weird.” She looked at the younger girl. “And how old are you anyway? You look eight.”

Noel gave an offended scoff. “Me? I am as old as time itself!” She declared dramatically. “Also, what year is it?”

“2015.”

Noel blinked, “What?” She crinkled her nose at Valorie’s clothes. “And you have to wear _that?_ I thought I was in the nineteen thirties!” She shook her head. “So it’s 2015… A.D. or has some new mythos sprung up yet?”

“Uh, no. A.D.” Valorie paused, “I think.”

“Okay, so if I can math this…” Noel snapped her fingers and a blackboard and chalk appeared. “Nine years plus…” She began scribbling things on the board, muttering to herself.

“Um.”

“I only age when I’m out of the lamp.” Noel scribbled some more—her handwriting was atrocious.

“Wait,” If Valorie was interpreting it correctly, then— “You were only _nine_ when you became a genie?”

“Yeah,” Noel shrugged. “My mum pissed off some dude because she wouldn’t marry him, so he set an enslavement curse that would hit once her child was of marriageable age.”

“DUDE!” Valorie had thought the magical world was a bit behind the muggle, but they weren’t _that_ backward at least. “He wanted to marry a nine-year-old? What the hell? That is messed up.”

Noel chuckled bitterly, “Yep, but that was the time I was born in.” She shrugged, “At least he was shit at magic.” She stretched, “So I am about ten and seven months years old.”

“Can you magic yourself to be enrolled at Hogwarts?” Valorie asked, curious as to how her magic worked exactly. “‘Cause if you want to hang around, it’d be better if people thought you were a student.”

“Yep,” Noel snapped her fingers and she was suddenly clothed in Ravenclaw robes.

Valorie circled around the other girl, “Hm… So you can do _anything?”_

“Anything that aids in me being able to fulfill your wishes, yep.”

“I want people to stop harassing and discriminating against people of veela heritage,” Valorie blurted out, hearing all about the stuff from guys Victoire faced on a daily basis, even though she was only fifteen.

Noel gave a nod, “That was your first wish, by the way. You have to word them as requests in order to not trigger the counting.”

“Got it.” Valorie’s stomach grumbled. “Hey, let’s get to dinner. I hope it’s not over yet.”

“Okay,” They walked out of the room, it disappearing after they exited. “Interesting,” Noel said about the vanishing room. “Okay, where is the dinner? I don’t think I’ve eaten since 372 B.C.”

Valorie winced in sympathy, leading the way to the Great Hall. As they got there, a group of girls exited the room with the sound of chaos following.

“Uh, what happened?” Valorie blinked as they walked in and practically everyone was on their phones. “Victoire?” She went over to the Ravenclaw table. “I was late to dinner, and I have no clue what happened?”

“Valorie!” Victoire patted the seat next to her, moving over to make room for the two girls. “Professor Wang caught Hill and Lake reading Harry Potter fanfiction during his class.” Her eyes flickered toward the High Table. “He showed the other teachers some examples. Meanwhile,” She looked toward her yearmates, “Brown decided to read fanfiction at the table. One of the firsties saw it and then freaked out. Her Slytherin friend then airdropped it to the _entire_ school.”

“Uh, is that what everyone’s looking at?”

Victoire shrugged, “No clue. Probably.” Her crystal blue eyes focused on her cousin’s companion. “Who’s your friend, Valorie?”

“This is Noel—” Valorie glanced at the genie, not knowing if she had a last name.

“Noel Butler,” She said smoothly, holding out a hand politely.

Victoire ignored the offered hand and studied Noel carefully. “I don’t remember seeing you at the Sorting. No offense, but I would be able to recall someone so short.”

Valorie realized that her cousin was trying to gauge Noel’s reaction to the insult.

“I think you were too busy staring at the Head Boy,” Valorie said, glancing at Teddy Lupin and interrupting Noel before she could say anything. “Isn’t he like your cousin or something ‘cause he’s your uncle’s godson?”

“Incest!” Kat giggled, appearing behind Valorie.

Valorie blinked, recalling seeing her leave. “Didn’t you walk out of the Great Hall a moment ago?”

“Yep!” Kat sat down next to Valorie, squeezing between her and Noel. “I escaped though!”

Just then, a voice cleared behind them. “Katerina Mao, I am not carrying you to your dorm if you fall asleep from the adrenaline crash.”

“But, Rubyyyyyyyy,” Kat pleaded, batting her eyelashes at the taller girl. “I was hungry!” She perked up, “Also, I heard Ravenclaw’s prefect was dating her cousin.”

“Uh.” Ruby looked at Victoire. “I wouldn’t recommend it, but you do you.”

“He is _not_ my cousin!” Victoire exclaimed, giving a groan of annoyance. “I mean, my great-great-great-grandfather is technically also _his_ great-great-great-grandfather, but that’s a bit far back, right? We’re like sixth cousins.”

“Incesttttttttt,” Kat whispered ominously. She gave a laugh, patting Victoire’s shoulder. “But don’t worry, cousins are allowed to marry in Scotland, so you’ll be fine.” She smiled sweetly, “Aren’t you glad you aren’t a generation apart? Nephews and nieces can’t marry their aunts or uncles.”

“What weird discussion have I walked in on?” Vivienne had walked over. Upon hearing Kat’s sentence, she promptly turned and exited, muttering something about homework.

Kat shrugged, “Hey, you haven’t even seen the Greek Mythology family tree yet!” She called after Vivienne’s back. She turned back around. “Who is this tiny human?” She poked Noel in the arm.

“You’re like maybe three centimeters taller.”

Kat snorted, patting her on her head. “More like three inches.”

Noel glared. “Don’t touch my hair.” Kat just laughed and poked the girl’s shoulder instead. Valorie got the feeling that Noel was easily offended.

“Gotta go,” Victoire said, standing up. “See you later, Val.” As she traveled toward the door, the Ravenclaw boy that was part of the earlier group sent a gust of wind toward her in an attempt to lift her skirt.

Suddenly, his hair was aflame and he was shrieking in pain as his scalp burned in the fire.

Noel gave a small giggle at what happened, then stuffed an entire donut in her mouth. Valorie was trying to figure out how Victoire was able to set a fire without looking, but then she got a sudden uneasy feeling in her gut. She looked at the former lamp-inhabitant. “Noel!” She whisper-shouted. “Did you—?”

Noel swallowed the rest of her food, then grinned like the Cheshire Cat, her dimples shining at her amusement. “Yep! Your wish, remember?”

“I didn’t mean set him on _fire!”_ Valorie hissed as the teachers managed to put out the fire. She watched as Victoire proclaimed her innocence in turning her harasser into a bonfire. “Undo it.”

“Oh,” Noel shrugged, “Sorry, can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” Valorie demanded, “You made it happen, so just unmake it!”

“You’d need another genie for that,” Noel provided. “I can’t undo things I do.”

“So people will just be set on fire every time they say or do something against veelas?”

“Yeah.”

Valorie wanted to be upset, but she found that she was okay with people being set on fire. It wasn’t like they were innocent or anything, so it’d be fine... right?


	7. Chapter Six: I Still Fall On My Face (Sometimes)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry Potter’s wand flew out of his hand, and Professor G caught with a victorious cry. “Remember, class. Distractions get you killed.”
> 
> She went to go help her husband, who had been launched backwards into a pile of chairs. She prodded him with her foot. “Honestly, you’re so dramatic. The savior of the Wizarding World, defeated by chairs.”
> 
> “My greatest weakness!” Potter gasped out before falling limp and hitting his head on the floor. “Ow!” He shot back up, rubbing his cranium.

Vivienne rummaged through her bag as she headed to Defense Against the Dark Arts. She was glad she had gone to the dorms and done her homework, unlike many of the student who’d chosen to explore the castle grounds before curfew. Her Potions essay hadn’t been that difficult and she’d gotten enough sleep to pull herself through History of Magic. She’d exchanged messages back and forth with Ruby as Professor Weasley (Percy) had droned on and on about how cauldrons had changed throughout the years. Vivienne wasn’t sure why he’d chosen that lecture to start off his class, but he didn’t give them homework so she didn’t complain.

She’d pulled out most of her books, finally finding her copy of _The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection_ just as she rounded the corner and crashed into someone.

Vivienne’s books flew everywhere. She landed on the floor and stared up at the blurry designs on the ceiling as she tried to get her bearings. She raised a hand to push up her glasses but found that they were no longer on her face. 

She sat up slowly. Her eyesight wasn’t _terrible_ so she managed to pick up her books and bag, but she couldn’t make out the features of the person who’d crashed into her until he was only a step away from her. 

The boy in front of her had messy dark hair and brown eyes and was holding out a hand to her with a concerned and apologetic expression. In his open palm, were her glasses, snapped in two. 

“I didn’t mean to run into you! I’m sorry! I overslept and didn’t want to be late for class!” The boy looked suddenly anxious, like Vivienne thought he ran into to her on purpose. “I—I don’t know how to fix your glasses, but I’m sure Aunt Herm—Professor Granger can!” 

He helped Vivienne up, supporting her with his arms. He pulled a golden thing out of his pocket and fidgeted with it. “Um, she’ll be here soon.”

Vivienne heard surprised exclamations throughout the hall as the sea of students parted and allowed a small, brown thing to pass through. She realized it must’ve been some sort of animal when it transformed into Professor Granger.

“What’s wrong, James?” Professor Granger looked around quickly, as if expecting someone to jump out and attack her. James winced. “I accidentally ran into…” He looked at Vivienne questioningly.

“I’m Vivienne Favero. First-year Ravenclaw.” She supplied, and Professor Granger looked surprised. “Oh, you’re the girl who caught Brown reading that...thing.”

James looked confused as Vivienne’s face turned red and she tried to hide it. “Yes...unfortunately.”

“Anyway,” James looked back and forth between Vivienne and Professor Granger. “I sort of, um, accidentallyranintoVivienneandbrokeherglassesandwaswonderingifyoucouldfixthem.”

Vivienne blinked at him for a moment. “First, _you’re_ James Potter?” 

James nodded and suddenly looked uncomfortable. “Yeah.”

Vivienne gapped. “Hermione Granger, the _smartest_ witch of her generation, is your aunt! That’s so cool! Secondly, you do realize Gryffindors and Ravenclaws have Defense Against The Dark Arts together? We could’ve walked to class and your mom—geez it must be annoying to having renowned heroes as your family—would have fixed it…I think.”

James relaxed. “Most people just remember that Harry Potter is my dad.”

Vivienne gestured frantically at the blurry Professor next to them. “But, _Hermione Granger.”_ She had read all of the published Harry Potter books and was a _huge_ fan of Hermione Granger.

“Um. You’re pointing at a painting.”

“See but I’d be pointing to the professor if you hadn’t broken my glasses.” Vivienne smiled, trying to show that she wasn’t really mad. It wasn’t like her glasses would be that hard to fix.

Professor Granger laughed. “I don’t think I’ve met many people who have eyesight that terrible—barring, of course—” she turned to the James-shaped blob, “your father.”

James snickered as the professor continued. “I also haven’t met many people who are bigger fans of me than Harry.” Professor Granger glanced at James, or at least, Vivienne was pretty sure she did—well, her head area moved, which meant she maybe turned her head. She still couldn’t see. “Maybe she’ll be able to make sure your first-year is explosion-free.” 

“Uhm, Professor Granger?” Vivienne blinked, rubbing her eyes as if that would make them work any better. “Would you mind fixing my glasses? It’s probably a good idea to get to class on time. I don’t want to miss anything…” She turned on her phone to check the time, but all she could see was a vague impression of white lines on her light blue background. She sighed and put it back in her pocket. 

“I would, but I would rather not be the person to tell James’ mother that he crashed into someone because he was running in the halls.” Granger-blob shrugged. “So it’s your job to get you both safely to class, James.”

“Oh no,” James groaned, covering his face with… um… his… uh… Vivienne really had no clue what it was… Oh! His hands! She cringed at her own stupidity.

Vivienne held up both her hands. “Well, since I still can’t see… James, you’ll probably have to hold my hand or my sleeve or something.”

James’ face-blob turned into a red face-blob. “Oh right! I, uhhhhh…”

“Just walk her to class, James!” Professor Granger sighed. “It’s not like she has cooties or anything.” She picked a piece of string out of his hair and transfigured it into a box. “Here, so you don’t cut your hand on broken glass.”

James took the container and put the remains of her precious glasses inside.

Vivienne felt a very loose grip around her elbow through her three layers of clothing. 

James tugged her forward, and she tripped on her robes, not expecting the sudden jerk. James, due to the fact that he’d grabbed her elbow, fell with her as she toppled backwards. She winced as her head hit the floor, squished under the weight of the male. If she thought about it, it had hurt less when she’d fallen the first time.

Because of their proximity, Vivienne could clearly make out every patch of acne on James’ face, a couple inches from her. His arms had stopped their heads from colliding together and braced his fall, but not by much.

“I think we’re in a somewhat compromising position.” Vivienne said, positive that her face looked like a tomato. “You’re not very light, you know.” She could hear, but not see, Professor Granger laughing somewhere above them.

James gasped, pushing himself to the side so he was sitting next to her. “Are you calling me _fat?”_

“No, you’re a stick.” Vivienne rolled her eyes. “But I’m pretty sure I’m shorter than you and that by default means that you weigh more than I do since I’m also basically a stick.”

“EW! PDA!”

Vivienne groaned as she felt a multitude of eyes swivel in her direction and recognized the voice of her Slytherin friend. “Someone kill me.”

“Okay!” Kat chirped. “Would you like a quick or slow death? Poison, stabbing, shooting, other? Up close or from a distance?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be in class?” Vivienne couldn’t pinpoint Kat; the black blobs that were students all looked fairly the same. Oh wait. She spotted a blob flapping their arms. Found her!

“Yeah, but then there was this human jam in the middle of the hall—hm, I wonder what human jam tastes like—? I got distracted, but there’s a bunch of tiny humans over here, so I came to see what happened!” Kat sat down on the floor next to Vivienne. “So, what happened? Want me to kick his butt? Or do you want to kick it yourself? Or maybe we ask Ruby to bite off his fingers. But also ew! Boy cooties!”

“...”

“Where’d your glasses go?” Kat asked, poking the Ravenclaw on the nose. “Did I hide them and forget I did?”

“No,” Vivienne felt a movement in her pocket. “And give me back my phone.”

“Dang it,” Kat slid the phone back. “You have like four minutes to get to class, dude.”

“I’m aware of that,” Vivienne stood up. “I have no clue where my classroom is, though. As you have noted, I don’t have my glasses.”

“Sorry,” James Potter helped her up. Then he held her sleeve lightly and pulled her forward.

“Left!” Kat called unhelpfully. “Right! Oop! That’s a child!”

“Go to class, Kat!” Vivienne yelled back. “I’m not the only one who has four minutes to get to class!”

She let James lead her through the corridors, following the occasional verbal warnings whenever they had to climb a moving staircase.

“So,” James sounded curious. “You’re friends with a Slytherin?”

“If you’re about to make a comment about how they’re all evil, I’m going to ignore it.” Vivienne grinned, “And yes, she is my friend.”

“I wasn’t asking to criticize. I mean, Professor Snape is in Slytherin and he isn’t evil.” James carefully turned, making sure Vivienne didn’t bump into the wall. “I just meant that I don’t think many of the Slytherins befriend people outside their house.”

Vivienne hummed in acknowledgment. “You’re not wrong. A lot of them don’t, though I can’t say I blame them. They’re mostly treated like the black sheep of the school. I think Kat either thought I was interesting, defied the norm on purpose, or just doesn’t care what the other houses think of her. Maybe all three.”

“Huh.” James didn’t say anything else until they reached the classroom, but Vivienne couldn’t see his expression so she wasn’t sure what he was thinking. They walked into Defense Against the Dark Arts, which was full of chatting students.

“James Sirius Potter, you were this close to being late!” Vivienne identified James’ mother by her long red hair, and stood quietly as she approached them.

“Sorry, mother. I accidentally ran into Vivienne and—”

“Who?”

“Uh, me, Professor.” Vivienne raised her hand. “James ran into me by accident. Sorry, it’s sort of my fault he was late.”

“How was it your fault? I’m the one who broke your glasses.” James sounded confused.

“Yeah well, if I’d been able to see we would’ve gotten to class faster.”

“I—” James’ mother—it sounded odd to call her Professor Weasley since she’d had a different Professor Weasley for History of Magic—spoke up. “I was in Gryffindor and even _I_ know that logic makes no sense. But James, why on earth were you running?”

“I overslept.” James muttered. 

His mother sighed. “What am I going to do with you? Give me her glasses.”

James handed the box of Vivienne’s glasses over to the professor, and, to Vivienne, their hands looked like they had merged into one large peachy blob for a moment.

 _“Oculus Reparo._ Hold out your hand, Vivienne.”

Vivienne did so and her glasses were placed into her outstretched palm. She slipped them on, blinking as everything came into focus. “Thank you, Professor Weasley.”

“That’s Professor G to you.” The woman grinned amiably. “I don’t particularly want the same title as my nerdy brother. Now, both of you find a seat. And no, James, you can’t push anyone out of their chairs and claim it as yours.”

Vivienne took a seat in the front, and James, probably because it was the only chair left, sat next to her.

“I hate sitting in the front.” James muttered to her. “I have to act like I’m paying attention.”

Vivienne laughed. “Oh yes, it must be terrible to have to _learn things._ Such a horror.”

“And now that everyone is finally here—” Professor G said from the front of the room, “I want you to stand up and push all of the desks to that side of the room, and the chairs to the other.”

Most of the students gave groans at the thought of physical labor. Vivienne just tilted her head, more curious about _why_ they had to move the desks rather than the fact that they _had_ to actually move them.

Her phone buzzed and she took a glance at in between moving a table and nearly gasped out loud. Awwwwww! A picture of a kitten! Wait. Who sent it?

 _Who are you?_ She typed quickly, glancing around to see if Professor G was watching. She wasn’t.

Her phone chimed again. _Lol. It’s—_

A long pause.

Then another picture of a cat, but this one was stuck in a cup.

_Kat??????_

_Duh. Now go back to class, bye._

Vivienne shut off her phone, so that she wouldn’t see anymore notifications, and reassured herself with a quick survey around the room that no one had seen her off task. She looked for a table or chair to move, but discovered that the tasks had been completed in her distraction.

“Now,” Professor G went towards the door. “Line up against the wall, and don’t freak out.”

Vivienne did as she was told and went to the back of the room. She stood next to James and whispered, “Why would we freak out?”

“I don’t know…” James whispered back. “But knowing my mother, I’ll probably hate it.”

Professor G pulled open the door and a figure walked in. James buried his face in his hands. “No. No no no no no. Someone pinch me. Tell me I’m hallucinating.”

Vivienne pinched him.

“Hey!” James glared at her and she shrugged innocently. Then she turned back to the front of the room and was met with the face that could only, judging from the similarity to James’ (and the lightning-shaped scar), belong to Harry Potter. 

Vivienne snickered. “Perks of being a muggleborn. My parents can’t come embarrass me.”

James just sighed and looked resigned. “Can you get your Slytherin friend to come over here and just give me a quick death? I’d be very grateful.”

Vivienne laughed. “Nope! Besides, if I told her to kill you, I’d be expelled.”

“Great to see how much you value my wellbeing,” James muttered dryly. “I feel so appreciated.”

“You should.” Vivienne grinned. “And come on, your parents can’t be _that_ bad.”

James made a face. “You’d be surprised at how immature the heroes of the Wizarding World can be.”

Vivienne raised an eyebrow, “They’re, like, what? Mid-thirties?”

James nodded and was about to say something else when a shadow fell over them. Vivienne looked up and met the amused eyes of Harry Potter.

“Fatherrrrrrr,” James looked up at the ceiling and groaned. “Why are you here?”

“What?” James’ father looked like he was trying not to laugh. “I can’t say hello to my son?”

“Just,” James nudged him. “Go back to the front of the room. Or better yet, go back to work.”

Harry Potter walked back to the front of the room and Professor G cleared her throat. “Today, we will be showing you how to duel.”

Excited whispers filled the room. Vivienne glanced at James, who looked mortified. “I hope she doesn’t intend for _us_ to try dueling. Someone will accidentally stab their eyes out.”

“They don’t even duel!” James wrinkled his nose. “I mean, they do, but they do it while doing this weird flirty thing with their eyes and just, ugh. Why me?”

Vivienne stared at him for a moment. “Well. That was a bit too much information, but if they’re gonna do that here, I’m glad for the heads up.”

Professor G and her husband faced each other. They walked forward until they were an arms’ length away from each other. They raised their wands in front of them, and then snapped them back to their sides. The wizard and witch then bowed their heads to one another, and turned around. They walked five paces, and then whirled around to face each other.

“Someone count to three.” Professor G instructed. Vivienne cleared her throat. “Uh. Three, two, one?”

In synch, they both sprang into action, firing colorful bursts from their wands and shouting spells.

Vivienne didn’t even try to figure out what spells they were using. But as they continued, she wondered if they would actually be allowed to practice anything.

Potter did something that made Professor G’s hair band come out, making her red hair sweep into her face.

James made a gagging sound. “They’re doing the weird thing.”

Vivienne looked. The two were still shouting spells. But they were smiling and winking and making weird faces and Vivienne decided to cover her eyes. “I see what you mean.” 

“Guys, stop flirting!” James called. Harry Potter looked over and raised his eyebrows while Vivienne tried not to laugh. In that split second of distraction, Professor G fired a spell. _“Expelliarmus!”_

Harry Potter’s wand flew out of his hand, and Professor G caught with a victorious cry. “Remember, class. Distractions get you killed.”

She went to go help her husband, who had been launched backwards into a pile of chairs. She prodded him with her foot. “Honestly, you’re so dramatic. The savior of the Wizarding World, defeated by chairs.”

“My greatest weakness!” Potter gasped out before falling limp and hitting his head on the floor. “Ow!” He shot back up, rubbing his cranium.

“Please. Stop.” James pleaded. “You’re not cool.”

Vivienne was clutching her stomach and giggling. 

James huffed indignantly. “Good to know you find me so hilarious.”

“You’re right.” Potter sighed forlornly, looking at the floor in sadness. “I’m not cool.” He looked up and winked at Professor G. “I’m hot. Wouldn’t you agree, Ginny?” 

His wife smacked him upside the head.

“He’s mastered the dad jokes!” Vivienne cried dramatically. “No one is safe.”

Potter faced the class and spread his arms. “I’m cool, right?”

The class cheered and James looked like he wanted to sink into the ground.

Vivienne giggled at the dejected look on the boy’s face. “At least he’ll only be here today—a week at most—, right?”

James perked up. “Oh yeah!” He did a fist-pump in the air.

“James.” Professor G raised an eyebrow toward the Gryffindor boy, who immediately quelled his celebration.

“As demonstrated by our duel,” Professor G said, waving her wand so that her hair was swept out of her eyes and back into the ponytail it had been in, “many spells can be used in a fight. Today,” she strode to the front of the room, “we will be focusing on _Expelliarmus_ —the disarming spell— and _Protego_ —the shielding spell.” She flicked her wand at the board, and pictures of the wand movements appeared, as well as the pronunciation of the spells.

“Mr. Potter and I will demonstrate the spells, then you will practice it. If this goes well, we may get to attempt it on a partner by the end of class.” Professor G demonstrated how to cast a shield around her as her husband performed the disarming spell he was so notorious for using during the war.

Vivienne watched as her classmates gravitated toward their friends and practiced the spells together, the sound of chatter and mispronounced spells filling the air.

She studied the diagram on the board closely, mouthing the words as she read. She took a deep breath and readied herself. Time to try to use magic.


	8. Chapter Seven: You’re Doomed, Enjoy The Singing!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ruby, help me!” Vivienne reached toward their brunette friend, who was sitting and reading calmly.
> 
> Ruby glanced up, then went back into her book. “Kick her.”
> 
> “You are not a very nice Hufflepuff,” Kat pouted. “Vivvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv, the big bad Hufflepuff is being a meanie!”
> 
> “Stab her,” Noel suggested without taking out the candy, so it sounded more like “s’a’ ‘er.”
> 
> Vivienne sighed in exasperation. “We are not stabbing anyone, Noel!”
> 
> “Stabbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!” Kat cried in delight, pulling out her wand and cackling in a way that was frightening to literally no one.
> 
> “No!” Vivienne snatched the wand away, booping the older girl on the nose. “Bad Slytherin! No stabbing your friends!”
> 
> “Stab?” Kat blinked innocently up at Vivienne. “Pleaseeeeeee?”

It wasn’t until the end of October that Kat began learning new things at Hogwarts (or at least, things she hadn’t already been taught at Ilvermorny). 

“There once was a boy named Harryyyyyyyyyy, destined to be a starrrrrrrrrrrr.” Kat sang, giggling and falling over onto Vivienne. And by 'new things', she meant the existence of A Very Potter Musical.

“Why did you introduce her to the internet?” Vivienne asked desperately, looking at Noel.

Noel laughed and stuck another blood pop into her mouth.

“Ruby, help me!” Vivienne reached toward their brunette friend, who was sitting and reading calmly.

Ruby glanced up, then went back into her book. “Kick her.”

“You are not a very nice Hufflepuff,” Kat pouted. “Vivvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv, the big bad Hufflepuff is being a meanie!”

“Stab her,” Noel suggested without taking out the candy, so it sounded more like “s’a’ ‘er.”

Vivienne sighed in exasperation. “We are not stabbing anyone, Noel!”

“Stabbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!” Kat cried in delight, pulling out her wand and cackling in a way that was frightening to literally no one.

“No!” Vivienne snatched the wand away, booping the older girl on the nose. “Bad Slytherin! No stabbing your friends!”

“Stab?” Kat blinked innocently up at Vivienne. “Pleaseeeeeee?”

Vivienne gave her an unconvinced look and walked over to join Ruby, pulling out a book from her bag. “I give up.” She handed Kat her wand back. “Don’t kill anyone.”

“Or don’t get caught!” Kat added in a sing-song voice.

“...True” Vivienne conceded. 

“If you guys don’t shut up,” Ruby glowered. “How about making yourselves useful.”

“Doing what?”

“Sneaking into the library at night.” Ruby rolled her eyes. “Duh.”

Kat frowned, “What is in the library that you can’t just order through owl or find in our manor’s library?”

Ruby shrugged, doodling in her notebook. “Nothing. It’ll be funny to see you try to get into the library, though.”

Kat stuck her tongue out at her cousin. She turned to Valorie, who had been walking past her. “Vallie!”

Valorie glanced around the table and then raised a perfectly arched eyebrow. “I was gone for like five minutes. How have you managed to kill someone in that time?” 

“I could totally kill someone in that amount of time!” Kat huffed, crossing her arms. “Anyways, wanna have a sleepover? Tomorrow’s candy day!” She saw Valorie send a confused look toward the rest of their friends.

“She means Halloween,” Ruby explained.

“CANDY DAY!” Kat threw her hands in the air. “Sugar!”

“Costumes.” Vivienne put her book down with a grin. “And tricks!”

Kat squinted at her. “What kind of tricks?”

Vivienne shrugged. “Depends on the person you’re tricking I guess. Maybe steal all Noel’s candy.”

Noel hissed at her and Vivienne just laughed. “Joking. Mostly.”

“I have an idea!” Kat exclaimed, clapping her hands together excitedly. She had the perfect plan for tricking individuals around the castle. She smirked, reaching into her pockets and summoning the book she wanted. “I know there’s an entrails-expelling curse _somewhere_ in here…” she flipped through the pages, hiding her grin at the horrified looks on her friends’ faces. 

“No.” Vivienne pointed at Kat. “I want no part in expelling entrails. At least wait until you’re fifteen to do something dangerous and potentially illegal.”

“Okie!” Kat said agreeably. She knew the other girl would find it suspicious. “You shall have no parts left after the expelling of entrails! I mean, I’d usually leave _some_ entrails at the end, but if that’s what you want…”

“Yes, no entrails would be preferred.” Vivienne went back to reading and Kat scooted over to sprawl across the Ravenclaw’s legs. “What tricks _should_ we do then?”

She reached over and poked the Ravenclaw’s olive skin, fascinated at the way the skin was able to resume its previous form. “Also, you didn’t understand what I said at all. I meant I would expel _all_ of the entrails instead of only _some_.”

“Kat!” Vivienne chastised, shaking her head in exasperation. “What’s the point of an entrails expelling curse if the entrails are just gone? Where’s the fun in that?”

“Well, yeah,” Kat rolled her eyes. “They’ll be gone from the body because they’ll be _outside_ of the body.”

“Why do you two always plot murders out loud?” Ruby bemoaned, holding a hand over her face. “It’s so hard to plead reasonable deniability if you say it in the middle of a public area!”

“Because I’m evil!” Kat cackled, rubbing her hands together.

Vivienne booped her on the nose. “No, you is a Squish.”

Kat tried to bite the finger off. “I is pure evil.”

“Squish.” Vivienne poked her again.

“Evil.”

“Squish.”

“Fear me, I am death.”

“You is a Squish.”

“Nuuuuuuu!” Kat batted Vivienne’s hand away. “I. Am. Pure.”

“Wait, what?”

“Evil.”

“Oh.” Vivienne giggled, “I thought you were going to stop at ‘pure’.”

Kat gasped, placing a hand to her heart. “No! I am evil! Stop besmirching my name!”

“You. Is. A. Squish.” Vivienne patted the top of Kat’s head.

Kat pouted and turned to Valorie. “Vallieeeeee! Viv is being a meanie!”

“You are a fluffy cinnamon roll,” Valorie replied without hesitation.

“Valorie!”

“Kitty isn’t evilllllllllllllll,” Valorie crooned, giving Kat a big hug.

Kat jabbed her friend in the stomach with her hand. “I will stab you.”

“Yes, you have stabbed my heart with your cuteness.”

Kat crossed her arms. “You’re all meanies!”

“Wait, so are we having a sleepover or not?” Vivienne asked, tapping Ruby’s book so that the brunette would pay attention.

Ruby shrugged, “I guess. Where are we having it?”

“Not Slytherin dorms,” Kat said immediately. She somehow doubted that Snape would find a sleepover as an adequate for letting in non-Slytherins into the Common Room—nevermind the dormitories!

Noel tilted her head to the side, donut halfway frozen to her mouth. “Why?”

“Slytherins only,” Kat shrugged, “We’re still trying to regain our streak after Potter and Weasley messed it up.”

Vivienne gasped, “You read the books?”

Kat raised an eyebrow, “I finished them within a week of taking the first one—and it was only that slow because I could only take one or two from your dorm without you noticing.”

“You went into my dorm?” Vivienne sighed. “How did you get past the questions?”

“It's a secret!" Kat sang, grinning at her cheekily. 

Vivienne shook her head, looking down at her food. “Wow.”

Kat yawned, rubbing her eyes. She should _not_ have stayed up until three in the morning watching YouTube videos last night, but she had. “I want candy. Does anyone have candy?” She leaned to the side and rested her head on Vivienne’s fabric-covered shoulder. It wasn’t as squishy as she’d hoped, which was unfortunate. 

When Vivienne tried to move her arm in order to eat, Kat grabbed on and clung tighter. “Nooooooo. It’s mine now! I took your arm! Mineeeeeee.”

Vivienne just gave her an exasperated look before switching to her right arm. “Well, at least I’m not left-handed.”

“Well, at least you’re not left-handed,” Kat said at the said time. She looked up.

“Jinx!”

“Double jinx!”

“Triple jinx!”

“Infinity jinx!”

“Infinity isn’t a number!”

“So? You said it too!”

The other girls exchanged looks before standing up and exiting the situation.

~*~

“Guys! Guys!” Kat poked Ruby in the back a few times. “I adopted Vivienne. She is now my twin.”

“I am so confused right now,” Vivienne added, raising her hand.

Ruby glanced between them before shrugging. “Yeah, that’s a thing Kat does. You’ll get used to it. I mean—We’re not even that closely related, but she kinda just kidnapped me one day, and here we are.”

Kat rolled her eyes, “I object! I did not _kidnap_ you!”

Ruby raised an eyebrow, “Okay, then what _would_ you call it?”

“Uh,” Kat twirled her wand around, “calling into question the amount of incest that occurred for Purebloods to all be related somehow?”

Vivienne blinked in what seemed to be confusion. “But I’m not a Pureblood, so…”

“Squibs,” Kat said simply. “Muggleborns are usually just descendants of Squibs whose magic has resurfaced.”

“You have an explanation for everything, don’t you?”

“Perhaps.”

Ruby cupped her mouth with her hands and whispered, “She makes half of these things up, you know?”

“Yeah!” Vivienne whispered back, smiling at her friends.

“Wow, I am, like, so betrayed right now.” Kat shook her head. “Well, Valorie’s my new cousin now.”

“Aren’t you already related?” Noel asked between bites of whatever sugary confection she was currently devouring.

“Yeah, probably,” Valorie reaches into her pocket. “I think I have one of those pureblood genealogy books here somewhere… India and China aren’t that far apart, so my dad or mum’s probably somehow related to your side or something—Hey, you could be part-Veela too!”

Kat snorted, “I wish! You guys can set people on fire! That’s so freaking cool!” She gave a dramatic sigh, “I am unfortunately only half-dragon.”

“WHAT!” All of her friends—and a few members of their table that had overheard—were all staring at her as if she’d said something insane.

Kat re-evaluated her words, running them over in her head. She saw nothing wrong with it, but perhaps people needed a better explanation. “My mom’s a dragon?”

“WHAT?”

“You guys are so loud,” Kat muttered, cracking her fingers with her thumb. “So, yeah. I am half-dragon—or at least half, idk about the other half. Tada.”

Vivienne tilted her head. She, out of all of them, seemed the least surprised. “Can’t dragons, like, _breathe_ fire?”

Kat shrugged, “Chinese dragons are more water types. I don’t think I’ve ever met one with flamethrower breath. They’re pretty overpowered, though. I’m sure a full-blooded one could if they wanted to.”

Vivienne looked confused before diving into her pockets and retrieving a green book with gold highlights. “But what about the Chinese Fireball? Isn’t that—”

“Yeah, no.” Kat shook her head. “Chinese dragons and Chinese Fireballs are different things. They’re less… uh, smart. English only calls them both dragons for lack of a better differentiating word—oh and also that tiny fact that you guys don’t actually believe actual Chinese dragons exist… uh, oopsie.” She took out her wand. “I guess I’ll just have to kill you now.”

“Dude,” Ruby places a hand gently on the wand. “Who’d believe a group of children about the existence of a species they think is fictional?”

Kat rolled her eyes. “Trueeeeeee.” She replaces her wand. “Fine. No stabbies yet.”

“So since you’re half-you-know-what, what can you do?” Valorie asked, leaning forward.

Kat smirked, “You’ll just have to wait and see, won’t you?”

“I have a question,” Noel raised her hand. “So if your mom’s a dragon, how are you a human? Or at least human-shaped?”

“Some Chinese dragons can shapeshift,” Kat explained, “Both my parents are human-shaped right now—or at least that’s all I’ve seen of them. I’m not quite sure what my dad is, but my mom says she’s a dragon, so there’s that.”

“Ooh, Kat! Idea!” Valorie tapped Kat’s shoulder excitedly. “Since we have non-wizard magic, we could totally prank a ton of people!”

“Excluding us, of course,” Ruby added quickly. 

Kat just smiled mischievously.

Vivienne suddenly gave a short giggle. “Wings Of Fire!”

“What?”

“Kat, have you read Wings Of Fire?” Vivienne asked, handing Kat a book from her pocket. “It’s a book series about dragons and it’s really interesting. Read it. I have the entire series with me—well, the ones that are published, that is.”

Kat gasped, her hands going to her cheeks, forming a little flower thingy. “Do people get set on _fire_?”

“Um…” Vivienne tilted her head. “Mayyyyybeeeeeeee?” She shrugged, “Also keep in mind that I’ve read, like, seven on these. I can’t remember the specifics. But dragons definitely get set on fire.”

Kat rubbed her hands together, letting out what she thought was an evil laugh. “Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiire!” 

“...”

“Pyromaniac.”

Kat gave Ruby a wide smile. “I know where you _sleeeeeep_!”

“Yeah, well I know where _you_ sleep!”

~*~

“So, like, what do girls usually do at sleepovers?” Kat rolled over on Vivianne’s bed, hanging with her head upside down on the mattress. “Because I’ve literally never been to a sleepover before, and the dudes in our year are too gross to talk about.”

Vivienne snickered, walking back into the room with perfectly balanced plates of cookies in her hands that Kat very much wanted to eat. “We could talk about books?” She set the cookies down on her nightstand. “I bribed Noel and I’s other roommates out with cookies, so we don’t have to kick the Hufflepuffs out of their room like Kat initially wanted.”

“They will fear me,” Kat whispered ominously—although the effect was ruined by her subsequently snatching three cookies and attempting to stick them all in her mouth at once.

Vivienne snorted, sitting down on her bed and making Kat scoot over. “You. Is. A. Squish!” She booped Kat on the nose.

“Cookies!” Noel took an entire plate and set it on her lap, baring her teeth at Valorie when she tried to rescue one.

“Have you finished your Potions essay?” Vivienne asked Ruby, who was crouched over the sheet of parchment on the bed of Talia Mana, one of the excavated Ravenclaws. “You get no cookie if you don’t finish.”

“Kat wants a cookie!” Kat had somehow already finished her cookies—which were each bigger than her entire hand, may she add—and made grabby hands toward the plates that were a few inches too far from her reach.

Ruby looked up from her assignment with a tired expression. “Did you seriously just refer to yourself in third person? I thought you stopped doing that in middle school.”

“SHE SPEAKS!” Kat gasped, pointing at the previously silent witch. “I HAVE DONE MAGIC!”

“You are a witch. And a dragon. You go to a magic school.” Ruby deadpanned while quickly stealing a cookie from Vivienne. “You can obviously do magic.”

“No cookie,” Vivienne removed the baked good before Ruby could take a bite. “Write. Professor Snape gave us a week to write a foot of essay. You should’ve been done way sooner.”

“My essay was five and a half feet!” Kat declared, waving her arms in the air. “It’s only six pages in normal, one-sided paper!”

“Exactly,” Vivienne nodded in agreement.

Valorie raised her hand. “I’m confused.”

“Me too,” Noel added. She was already down to the last cookie… there had been a dozen chocolate chip cookies to begin with—each six inches in diameter, approximately.

“Like printing paper,” Kat provided, reaching to the nightstand and grabbing her empty mug that displayed a _delightful_ diagram from a medical book—the anatomy of a human heart. “What’s the spell for hot water? Is it Aguamenti?”

“That’s a sixth-year spell, Kat.” Valorie gave her a confused look. “What’s printing paper? Is it that thing that you make newspapers with? ‘Cause that doesn’t look like it’s only twenty-eight centimeters.”

“Uh.” Kat looked at the other students that spent time in the muggle world. “Who reads newspapers anymore?”

Vivienne shrugged, “I boiled water in the kitchen, Kat. You don’t need to do a spell and risk burning yourself—or, more likely—someone else.”

“Blah.” Kat flopped toward the edge of the bed until she fell onto the floor. She stood up and left, patting everyone on the head in her path to the dorm kitchen.

She dumped a spoonful of black tea leaves into her mug, then unplugged the electric kettle and watched the water travel into her mug as she tipped the container. Steam rose from the liquid and Kat blew on it, making the clouds of vapor tremble.

“Remember to unplug it!” Vivienne yelled from the dorm room.

Kat giggled quietly to herself, setting a three minute timer on her phone. She grabbed her cup and dropped a spoon into it, floating a Ziploc bag of sugar cubes behind her. “I’m back!” She announced, setting the mug down before jumping onto the bed with Vivienne.

“We’re playing Paranoia, Kat.” Vivienne told her, watching wide-eyed as Kat dropped block after block of sugar into her tea. “How many are you putting? You’ve already put at least six into there.”

Kat smirked, adding another piece of sugar. “Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen,” She counted out loud with each new addition. Vivienne looked like she was going to have a heart attack.

“Do you know how to play this game?”

“Nope!” Kat stirred the tea and tasted it, ignoring the fact she couldn’t really feel her tongue anymore because of the near-boiling water. She increased the sugar cube count by three and Vivienne snatched the bag away and set it next to her, looking at the cup of tea with a horrified expression. Kat pouted and made grabby hands at the bag of sugar. “Mine! My precious!”

Vivienne huffed. “Drink your tea first. Your demonic sugary energy.” She removed the cookies from the Slytherin’s reach as well. “Now, this is how you play the game…”


	9. Chapter Eight: The Name Of The Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby frowned at Kat, who was making little maniacal sounds of amusement. “I’ll eat _you!”_
> 
> “That’s not allowed!” Kat said, grinning widely. “I asked the question, you no eats the Kat.” She poked Ruby sharply with her wand, which seemed to have appeared from her bracelet. “Who are you eatingggggg?”
> 
> Ruby looked at her askance. “Shouldn’t you have whispered that?” 
> 
> Kat waved her hands dismissively. “Everyone knows the question anywayyyyy.”
> 
> Ruby turned to look at Valorie and Noelle, the two people Kat had suggested. “I want you to know that I would never actually do this...but I choose…”

“So,” Vivienne crossed her legs, placing a pillow in her lap. “I whisper something to the person on my right—Kat—about who’s the most (insert thing here). Such as, uh, who’s most likely to punch Bennett this week.”

“ME!” Kat, Noel, Ruby, and Valorie simultaneously exclaimed. Ruby wanted to punch him right in his smug little nose, always poking it into girls’ business—sometimes literally.

Vivienne groaned, “You guys are all going to get in trouble someday. Well, at least there’s a never-ending list of potential suspects, at least.” She shook her head. “So then the person asked is going to name one of us as who she thinks best fits. Then we play rock-paper-scissors. If I win, then you have to tell everyone the thingy. If you win, the question or whatever stays secret.”

“Okie,” Kat took a long drink of her sugar water—sorry, Ruby meant tea. “Fish goes first.”

“What?” Ruby blinked. “Who’s Fish?” She was pretty sure that Kat had named her Griffin or something (because of a book series they read about a magical menagerie, not because of her Hogwarts House), so Fish couldn’t be her.

Kat gave her a look that said ‘duh’ and pointed at Valorie, who was laying on the ground.

“Oh no. Did you find a way to message Duck?” Fish—er, Valorie groaned, covering her face with a pillow.

“Yeah. I messaged her on Instagram.” Kat shrugged, “If you wanted me to not find your humans, maybe not let me access your follower list?”

“If Valorie is Fish, then what are the rest of us?” Vivienne asked before Ruby could stop her.

Kat’s face lit up in mischief. “You are Dolphin. The Ruby is Griffin. Noel is… hmmmmmm. I don’t know yet. Sugar Monster? Too long... No No? Nah, that just sounds weird. Ellie? That’s too meta—oh yeah, did you guys know we’re fictional characters that aren’t even canon? Anyways—Noellie? Weird, nope.” Kat shook her head, “Yeah, I have no clue. I’ll think of something eventually, even if it takes seven years.”

“Okay.” Noel was out of cookies, so she finessed one from Kat’s pile.

“I don’t know what to ask,” Valorie complained, sitting up and leaning toward Vivienne. “Uh. Okay,” she leaned in and whispered something into Vivienne’s ear.

“What?” Vivienne looked really confused. “Wait, ohhhhh! I got it now. Okay, I’d say Ruby.” 

Ruby wondered what the question was and watched in avid fascination as Vivienne and Valorie did the hand gestures for the game. Vivienne won, which meant she wouldn’t find out what it was… she’d get it from one of them later.

Then Vivienne, after considering for a moment, leaned towards Kat and whispered something quickly. Kat only took a few seconds to decide.

“Fish.”

Valorie sat straighter and observed their hand movements as they determined if she would get to know. Ruby was glad she hadn’t been picked, although she still wanted to know what the question was. Vivienne won again and Valorie immediately reached across her to poke Kat. “Tell me!”

“Who would be most likely not to notice being pranked in their sleep?” Kat grinned mischievously. “Ruby bites and Noel probably scratches.” Vivienne raised her eyebrows at the biting comment but only looked at Kat and said, “Your turn.”

Kat finished the last of her sugar water and tried to throw the mug at Ruby, who smacked her hand. Kat pouted, but leaned forward to whisper her question. 

_“Who would you eat first if you were on a deserted island?”_

Ruby moved away from Kat. “No one! I’ll survive on saltwater!”

“I suggest Valorie because, as a vegetarian, her meat’s probably the most sweet-tasting.” Kat tilted her head. “Or Noel, since she eats a lot of sugar.”

“NO ONE!”

“Well, you have to choose _someone.”_

“Nope!”

“Ruby!” Kat crossed her arms. “Who are you eating? Choose someone or you’ll starve to death, trying to eat your own arms.”

“No!” Vivienne protested, “She needs her arms for drawing!”

“Drawing what?” Ruby snorted.

Kat giggled. “Eating your friends, duh!”

Ruby looked at Vivienne helplessly. “Aren’t you supposed to be her impulse control??”

The Ravenclaw shrugged innocently. “I mean, I’m not supposed to know the question, even though it’s kind of obvious, and she’s had sugary leaf water what do you expect from me?”

“Literally everyone knows the question at this point,” Valorie laughed.

Ruby frowned at Kat, who was making little maniacal sounds of amusement. “I’ll eat _you!”_

“That’s not allowed!” Kat said, grinning widely. “I asked the question, you no eats the Kat.” She poked Ruby sharply with her wand, which seemed to have appeared from her bracelet. “Who are you eatingggggg?”

Ruby looked at her askance. “Shouldn’t you have whispered that?” 

Kat waved her hands dismissively. “Everyone knows the question anywayyyyy.”

Ruby turned to look at Valorie and Noelle, the two people Kat had suggested. “I want you to know that I would never actually do this...but I choose…” She spun around and pointed at Vivienne. “Her!”

Vivienne gasped dramatically. “I’ve been betrayed!” She collapsed onto the floor in a heap and flopped around to face Kat. “Avenge me! I have been eaten!”

“Okay!” Kat leapt onto the other bed and grabbed Ruby’s arm. “This is mine now!”

Ruby tried to pull away, but her cousin’s grip was too strong. “Ow!” She exclaimed as Kat bit down on her flesh.

Vivienne was giggling on the floor, while Noel and Valorie were making no move to be subtle and laughing loudly. Ruby shot them a deadpan look. “I hate all of you.”

Kat, who was still clamped down on Ruby’s appendage, hugged the arm tighter. “Okie, now you ask the Noel.”

Ruby looked down at the person cutting off her circulation. “Are you going to let go of my arm?”

“Nope. This is mine now.”

Ruby let out a long breath and tried to count to ten. She wondered if she could just Obliviate herself in the morning and forget this ever happened. She didn’t have the energy to deal with this so late in the day. 

“Ask a questionnnnn.” Kat finally let go of Ruby’s arm and she shook it out, rubbing the teeth indentations in her skin. Noel scooted closer to her, clearly ready to hear the question.

_“Who would be most likely to go to a party instead of studying for exams?”_

“Oh, that’s not too hard.” Noel snickered. “Definitely Valorie.”

“Meeeeee!” Kat poked Ruby. “It’s meeeee.”

Ruby spluttered. “You can’t just volunteer yourself Kat! You’re not even supposed to know the question.”

Kat shrugged, “You whisper loud!”

“Kat would be the one to, like, drop in for a few hours maybe, but Valorie would stay the entire time.”

“Hey!” Valorie pouted. “Meanie!”

“She didn’t say you’d get a bad grade, though.” Vivienne consoled her, “And we’re assuming this is the night before the test,” she looked at Noel, “right?” 

“Yeah.”

Vivienne looked back at Valorie, “See? Kat would leave early because she’s cramming—”

“Hey!”

“It’s true.”

“Blah.”

“—and Valorie would be at the party because she’s studied before.”

Kat returned to her place next to Vivienne and yanked the pillow from the Ravenclaw. “I’m taking your pillow as compensation for emotional damages.” She stuck her tongue out and squished the pillow in her arms.

Vivienne glared. “The next time you drink tea, I will replace it with coffee. With _no_ sugar.”

“Ew! Coffee!” Kat gasped, looking scandalized. “You wouldn’t _dare!”_

Valorie rolled her eyes. “Noel, ask the question?”

“Okay, so—” Noel whispered something to Valorie. Ruby tried to catch the words, but it was too quiet.

Valorie giggled. “I don’t know! You have literally chosen the worst group for that!” She looked around at all of them, then threw her hands in the air. “I don’t know!”

“Me?” Kat gave Valorie a questioning smile.

Valorie raised an eyebrow. “Definitely not.”

“Good, so you’ve eliminated one whole person.” Kat poked Vivienne. “Is it this human?”

“Probably not.”

“Then is it this human?” Kat tried to poke Ruby, but her teeth were waiting.

“I don’t know! Probably not?”

“Well, at least we’ve narrowed it down to two.” Noel looked pleased with herself for coming up with such a baffling question. “Now you just have to eliminate one more.”

Valorie looked between Vivienne and Ruby and sighed. “I don’t knowwww. Which one of you is less violent? Maybe that one.”

Ruby laughed. “Then it’s definitely not me.”

Valorie made a noise of annoyance, “My mind wants to say Vivienne, but Ruby is honestly more probable.

“What’s the question?” Ruby had an inkling of a feeling regarding what the question could be, and she did _not_ want to be right.

“Rock, paper, scissors, shoe.”

“Wait,” Noel, who had won the game, blinked at Valorie in confusion, “did you just said shoe?”

“Yeah?”

“Dude. It’s _shoot.”_

Valorie gasped, “Really?”

Vivienne gave her a long look. “Yes, Valorie. It’s shoot.”

“Oh.”

Vivienne laughed and tapped Valorie on the nose. “You is a Fish.”

Kat clapped her hands. “Yes! The nickname is official!”

Valorie pouted. “Can we do something else now? I’m not good at this.”

“Okay,” Kat said agreeably. “I need more tea anyway.” Then she leaned forward and rested her chin on her hands. “Let’s play truth or dare! Or….” She changed her voice so it was an octave higher and irrationally excited. “Let’s talk about _boys!”_

Ruby raised an unimpressed eyebrow at her cousin.

Kat laughed and stood up. “Be right back, I’m getting tea. We’re playing truth or dare.”

Vivienne cried out in horror. “No! Not more tea!” She grinned. “Oh! Let’s play hide and seek! In the dark!”

“My pajamas glow in the dark, though!”

Everyone turned their heads to face Kat, almost simultaneously. Ruby blinked. “Seriously? Why?”

Kat shrugged. “Why not?” She waved her wand and tapped her shirt. “Ninja mode.” Her pajamas turned all black and sleeves extended as well as a hood. “Okay, I’m good now.” The only part of her visible were her purple eyes now.

Ruby groaned. She’d thought her cousin hadn’t actually gotten her pajamas set with transfiguration going back and forth, but she must’ve. “Cheater,” she accused, “not fair!”

Kat smirked, “You snooze, you loose! You should’ve done this too!” She clapped her hands excitedly. “Okay, whoever’s seeking can use a flashlight, and that’s it.” She pulled a flashlight out of her purse and handed it to Ruby. “You go first. Count to, uh, forty. This is limited to the Ravenclaw common room and forms, so no going outside. Bye!” And with that, she ran out the room.

Vivienne shrugged helplessly before following.

Noel grabbed Valorie’s hand and dragged her out the room, deactivating the lights on her way out. “See ya later, Ruby!”

Ruby sighed, alone in the darkness with only moonlight showing the way. She flicked on the flashlight and began counting. “One. Two. Three. Four.” As she counted, her mind wandered to where they might’ve hid.

Vivienne and Noel had the obvious advantage, this being where they slept. If Valorie hid with Noel, then she’d be equally concealed. That left Kat, who would probably be the most difficult to find because of her small stature and, uh, half-dragon powers.

“Forty! Ready or not, here I come!” Ruby spun around and stalked around the room. Just because she hadn’t heard the door open or close didn’t mean it didn’t happen. It would be like Kat to circle around and hide right next to her. “Kat, I know you’re in here!” Ruby called, venturing on the guess.

She looked in the closet, in the bathroom, and even under the bed. No one was in the dorm room.

“Well,” Ruby said outloud to herself and any hiding people. “I guess I’ll have to check outside now.” She flung open the door in hopes of finding someone on the move. The bright beam of the flashlight illuminated the empty corridor. “Come out, come out, wherever you are!” She sang, feeling like a horror movie’s lead antagonist. “Oh, little girl! Where are you?”

A giggle.

Ruby spun around, looking at a suspiciously human-shaped bean bag. “I wonder what is here?” She took a few step forward before plopping herself down on the seat.

“Ah!” Valorie squirmed, pushing Ruby off of her. “You squashed me!”

Ruby noticed the Hufflepuff was looking intently at the couch next to them. She gave it a shove, earning her another yelp.

“Ow!” Noel came out from behind the furniture, rubbing her head. “Did you really have to squish me into the wall?”

“Yes,” Ruby deadpanned. “Now, where are Vivienne and Kat?”

“You’ll never take me alive!” Kat’s voice cried, echoing down the pitch black hall. They had somehow managed to extinguish every single light source around.

Ruby followed the sound down the stairs and into the common room. “Do you guys seriously need this many bookshelves?” She asked Noel behind her.

“Yeah.”

“Well,” Ruby took her wand out and lit a flame. “Let’s test that.”

“No!” Vivienne exclaimed, tumbling out of one of the shelves, which she'd somehow managed to insert herself into.

Ruby stopped the spell. “Ha! Found you!”

Vivienne pouted, sitting on the floor. “How dare you threaten our books? Kat’s right. For a Hufflepuff, you’re really mean. For a normal human being, you’re also really mean.”

“And where is my dear cousin hiding?” Ruby inquired. She wasn’t actually going to set anything on fire, it was just a way to get Vivienne out of hiding. Curiously, though, Noel hasn’t given much protest. 

A book fell off of a nearby shelf.

“Oh, Kaaaat!” Ruby walked closer to the area.

Suddenly, a small, clawed thing attacked her from behind.


	10. Chapter Nine: Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Favero walked towards one of the walls and smacked her head against the stone repeatedly.
> 
> “What are you doing?” Minerva looked slightly concerned. 
> 
> “Trying to lose brain cells so I can process something so absurd this late at night.”

“Professor Flitwick!” Frantic knocking on the door interrupted the debate—cough, argument, cough—Filius and Minerva were in, as well as Severus’ entertainment. 

Filius hurried over to see what happened, opening the door to a group of worried Ravenclaws.

“What is going on?” Minerva came up behind Filius to look sternly down at the students. “You should all be asleep.”

“All due respect, Headmistress, with both homework and additional books, it’s a miracle if we get even four hours of sleep. Also, we came because the entire school has had a blackout and something is trying to eat one of the first-years!”

Filius raised an eyebrow. “What’s a blackout?”

The student sighed. “It’s a muggle term, Professor. It means all the lights are out. Like if someone could cast _nox_ on the entire school.”

Minerva gestured pointedly at the brightly lit torch on the wall behind them. “And I suppose this ‘blackout’ just decided to skip us?”

The student shrugged. “I don’t know, but you’re welcome to see for yourself.”

Severus sighed from his place inside the room. “If Potter _doesn’t_ have something to do with this I might actually be surprised.”

Minerva smiled ruefully. “Unfortunately, you’ll have to specify. We all know that both of the Potters currently in this school could have potentially done this. Besides, there will be a few more Potters coming to this school in the coming years.”

Severus massaged his temples. “Can I resign?”

Filius shook his head. “You still have five more years on your teaching contract, Severus.”

Severus curled his lip. “I regret all of my decisions.”

Another student cleared his throat. “Could one of you maybe, uh, fix the school first?”

“It should automatically reset tomorrow night.” Filius made a shooing gesture with one hand. “You can go back to your dorms.”

Severus took a mirror out of his pocket. “The Slytherin dorms are still lit up.”

Minerva snickered, “Did you place a _baby monitoring_ spell on the dorms?”

The student who had first spoken up flailed his hands frantically at the dark hallway. “But the halls are so dark!”

Severus gave him a deadpan look. “It’s after curfew. It’s _supposed_ to be dark. Besides, there’s this spell called _Lumos?_ Perhaps you’ve heard of it.”

Some of the Ravenclaws looked mystified. “The hallways are dark after curfew?”

Minerva blinked slowly, then looked at Filius. “One, your students need more friends in other houses. Two, where were these students when everyone was breaking rules while Potter was in school?”

“Unconceived.” Severus replied, shooting Minerva a sarcastic look.

“Very funny.”

“Thank you.”

“Uh,” A Ravenclaw raised her hand to draw attention to herself. “I’m pretty sure the scary thing trying to eat the first-year isn’t something that comes out after curfew.”

Minerva and Severus exchanged exasperated looks that clearly said, _I’m so tired of things like this._

Filius walked over to a wall and requested, “Ravenclaw Common Rooms.” The wall slid aside, revealing a moonlit room filled with bookshelves, blue pillows, and a group of stumbling first years.

Minerva startled. “What on earth…”

Severus raised his eyebrows. “You _did_ know you had one of these, right?”

Minerva shook her head. “I didn’t have one, but we can debate this later.” They all rushed through the gap. Filius relit the entire common room’s torches, making it a bright contrast to the previous gloom.

The first thing that Severus noticed was that there was what appeared to be a snake with legs firmly attached to a Hufflepuff’s arm by the teeth. The second thing he noticed was a certain Slytherin’s absence from the group of first years she usually would traipse around with. He hoped the snake wasn’t Kat Mao post-failed transfiguration.

Beside him, Minerva gasped. “What, in the name of Merlin, have you lot tried to transfigure?”

The Hufflepuff shook her arm vigorously, making her attached reptile flap up and down. _“We_ didn’t do anything.”

Favero nodded in agreement. “Kat’s the one that did this.”

Minerva gasped, “Is this a _student?”_

Severus closed his eyes and took in an exasperated breath. He opened his eyes. “Are you attempting to tell us that Miss Mao transfigured herself into a reptile?”

The Ravenclaw made a _sort of_ gesture with her hands. “I’m not sure transfigured is the right word… more like… shapeshifted?”

“She’s eleven!” Minerva exclaimed, “You aren’t supposed to even _attempt_ an animagus form without supervision!”

“Since when do Slytherins do anything under supervision?” The other Hufflepuff muttered. 

The tiny snake seemed to roll her eyes at them. Mao unlatched her teeth from her cousin and leapt off of the human.

Severus reached out to perform a levitation spell before the first year collided with the ground, but Minerva beat him to it.

A string of latin later, a grumpy Slytherin first year was sitting on the ground. “I wanted to do a flip,” She pouted.

Vivienne Favero rolled her eyes as she helped the shorter girl up. “Of course you did.”

Filius pinched the bridge of his nose. “Shouldn’t you all be asleep? And aren’t you,” he pointed to Mao, Kim, and Lai-Dorian. “Supposed to be in your own common rooms?”

“We were having a sleepover.” Favero explained. “Basically we were all just having fun and hanging out. We finished our homework.”

“You mean _you_ finished your homework.” Mao poked the Ravenclaw’s shoulder. “I was productive and ate candy.”

Favero gaped at her. “You told me you finished it!” 

Mao blinked innocently. “I did finish… writing my name on it.”

Favero walked towards one of the walls and smacked her head against the stone repeatedly.

“What are you doing?” Minerva looked slightly concerned. 

“Trying to lose brain cells so I can process something so absurd this late at night.”

Ruby Kim laughed. “To be fair, I didn’t do my homework either. Neither did Valorie. I don’t know about Noel.”

Noel Butler quirked her mouth to one side. “I most certainly did not do my homework. I enjoy procrastinating.”

Favero sighed. “Why are the people I know like this.”

Filius cleared his throat. “Yes, well, would somebody care to explain why Miss Mao was just a scaly reptile? And why she was biting Miss Kim?”

“Ruby set your bookcase on fire,” Mao said immediately, pointing at her cousin.

“Dude!”

“You did what?!” Favero looked horrified. “When?!”

Mao tilted her head at Favero. “What do you mean, ‘when’? She literally did it five minutes ago to scare you out of hiding!”

“But she didn’t _actually_ set it one fire!” Favero glared pointedly at Kim. “And if _you_ do, I will be as loud as I possibly can while you study for exams and give you a headache and you will _suffer.”_

Kim stared at her. “You could just _fix the bookshelves.”_

Favero smiled innocently. “Yeah, but where would be the fun in that?” She shrugged, her smile turning sheepish. _“Kidding,_ I wouldn’t actually do that. Kat might though. Just for the fun of it.”

Kim turned to glare at Mao. “You better not.”

Mao rolled her eyes. “Why would I? It’s not like I can breathe fire or anything.”

Minerva clapped her hands sharply. _“Back to the subject at hand, please.”_

“Riiiiiiight.” Kim nodded. “Um, she bit me.” She pointed at Mao.

“You deserved it.” Malfoy stuck out her tongue before hiding behind Favero.

Minerva gave Severus a frustrated look, as if there was something _he_ could do about them. “Why are all of you in the Ravenclaw common room?”

“We’re playing hide and seek,” Lai-Dorian explained. “Also, we’re having a sleepover. There’s technically no rules against either of those things.”

“We checked the book with the rules,” Butler added. “And we nox’ed the lights.”

“What was that hole you just came through?” Mao poked her head out. “Is that a secret entrance? Where does it lead?”

The adults unanimously ignored her question.

“Are you a registered Animagus?” Minerva asked, looking at the Slytherin girl with a calculating gaze. “Or is it something else?”

Mao attempted to shrug nonchalantly, but Severus could tell that she was nervous about something from how she kept changing the finger her ring was on. It could be simply from being spoken to by the headmistress, but he didn’t think so.

“Have you always been able to do this, or was this something you learned?” Minerva seemed frustrated.

Suddenly, Mao stopped fidgeting. She looked like she’d just discovered something. “I was born this way. My mom was too.”

Minerva’s expression faltered, worry etching into her features. “Are you a—” a pause as she drew in a breath, “Maledictus?”

Severus remembered how it became discovered that Nagini was originally a human woman after her death, but had lost all sense of her humanity after the blood curse had made her become a beast. He didn’t want to think of a similar fate befalling his student.

Mao’s shoulders lost their tenseness as she shrugged again. “I don’t know what it’s called.”

Severus suspected she was hiding a part of her condition, but wasn’t sure what part of it was being concealed. She was showing remarkably levity in the face of a blood curse, which meant she either didn’t know about the eventual outcome, or she had a similar condition that didn’t result in a permanent transformation.

“Well,” Filius looked like he wasn’t sure what to make of the situation. “Maybe don’t bite anymore students?”

Mao huffed. “I’m not venomous unless I choose to be. And Ruby doesn’t mind, right?” She looked to her cousin.

Kim looked at her blankly before shaking her head. “Don’t worry, I bite back.”

“Can you turn into something as well, Miss Kim?” Minerva looked like she couldn’t take another student doomed to such a fate.

“Nah,” Kim poked Mao. “She kinda just decided I’d be her cousin one day. We’re not actually that closely related.”

“Also, Vivienne is now my twin sister,” Mao informed them. “Now that we’ve figured out the, uh, everything, can we go back to our sleepover? It’s like eleven at night and we’re growing children.”

“Which implies that you will be asleep Miss Mao.” Minerva arched an eyebrow. “But very well. As long as you don’t attempt to injure anymore students, you may get back to your... _sleepover._ Your inevitable exhaustion will be a problem for your teachers to deal with tomorrow.”

Favero cleared her throat and looked sheepishly at Severus. “Actually, both the Slytherin and Ravenclaws have potions first thing in the morning so I think it’ll be Professor Snape’s problem?” 

Severus narrowed his eyes. “Then you,” he pointed at Favero. _“Sleep._ I’m not dealing with a reckless tired first-year Ravenclaw in a Potions classroom. And you four,” he flapped a hand at the other students. “Had better have your homework done by tomorrow _or else.”_

Mao shrugged. “Eh, okay. I stay up late-ish and I work better with deadlines anyway.”

Kim sighed, and the other two grumbled under her breath, but no one protested. 

“I don’t even have Potions tomorrow.” Li-Dorian muttered

Minerva gave her a severe look. “I know for a fact that the Hufflepuffs have Herbology tomorrow, and for your sake Miss Lai-Dorian, I do hope you’ve read up on the appropriate material.”

The Hufflepuff plopped onto a couch and didn’t reply. 

“It’ll be okay!” Mao patted Lai-Dorian on the arm. “If the Venemous Tentacula tries to eat you, you can just set it on fire. Or I can eat it for you. I’ve never eaten one. Do you think they’ll taste gross? I don’t like vegetables.”

Severus made eye contact with Filius and Minerva. As a single entity, they turned around and left the common room.

“I need a drink,” Minerva groaned, rubbing her temples. “I know neither of you keep alcohol around.” She took a moment to think. “The teachers lounge is closer than my rooms.”

Severus and Filius followed the headmistress in silence down the dark corridors, only the faint flicker of their _Lumos_ guiding them.

When they finally got to the teacher’s lounge, Severus was surprised to see that the lights were still on in the room. Even more surprising, though, was the fact that Hermione Granger and Ginny Wealsey were there, ranting to each other about their husbands—or ex-husband, in Granger’s case.

“Oh, hi, Minerva,” Granger broke off from her avid discussion of her ex-husband’s bathroom habits—something that Severus didn’t need to know. “You’re here late.”

“I could say the same thing about you,” Minerva headed straight to the liquor cabinet and poured herself a dram of firewhiskey.

Wealsey winced as Minerva downed it in one breath. “That bad? What happened?”

“Well,” Minerva said briskly, pouring more. “It turns out that one of the first years may be a Maledictus. And they’re holding a slumber party in the Ravenclaw dorms, which requires turning off all of the lights around and scaring reading Ravenclaws.”

“Oh, and Mao bit Kim,” Filius added.

Granger raised an eyebrow, taking a sip of her tea. “And how is that any different from, I don’t know, every other time she’s done it?”

“She was some sort of reptile when the biting took place.”

Granger blinked in surprise. “Wow. And it’s not even two months into the school year.”

“I understand why you made us suffer in school now,” Weasley tapped her chin as a mischievous smirk crept onto her face. “Let’s prank the students and give them a taste of their own medicine.” Whoever said the _twins_ were the most well-versed in causing havoc in the family was sorely mistaken.


	11. Chapter Ten: Strange Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I is evil!” Kat sang, skipping down the hall toward where breakfast was. “I is the evilest! Fear me, tiny children!”
> 
> Ruby and Valorie exchanged a look. “She does realize that, as first years, we are the tiniest children here, right?”
> 
> “Who cares about schematics?” Vivienne began walking after Kat. “We’d better get there before she blows something or someone up. Last night, she was trying to find a spell that lets lasers shoot out your wand. Let’s hope she doesn’t find one.”
> 
> Valorie blinked. “Isn’t that spell in—”
> 
> “Ahh!” Vivienne waved her hands quickly. “Nope! Lalalalalalala! Plausible deniability! Lalalalalalalala!”

“CANDY DAY!”

Valorie awoke with a jolt as the sound of Kat’s loud screeching filled her ears. She turned over in the bed and covered her head with her pillow.

“CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CAND—Ow!” Kat scowled at her cousin, who’d thrown a fabric bag filled with feathers (a pillow) at her face. 

Valorie sighed, turning over again. “Can you guys keep it down? I’m trying to sleep.”

“But, Vallie! The sun’s awake! So I’m awake! And we have to, um,” Kat tapped Vivienne, who was trying to read, on the shoulder. “What are the words that come next?”

Vivienne looked up from her book with an annoyed expression. “I’m trying to read. Go wake everyone else. Or watch Frozen again.”

“But I won’t wanna!” Kat poked her friend.

“It is literally six in the morning,” Ruby growled, looking at her phone. “And we had Astronomy last night.” 

Kat giggled. “And that’s why I’m not a Hufflepuff. I did the math, and there was an eighty percent chance I wouldn’t have Astronomy the night before Halloween if I wasn’t in Hufflepuff.”

Vivienne raised her head. “There’s only four houses. There was an eighty percent chance _no_ house would’ve had Astronomy the night before Halloween.”

“And then there’s a seventy nine percent chance that both of you are wrong with your math and Professor Wang would laugh at you,” Ruby snarked. “Go. Back. To. Sleep.”

“Who’s Professor Wang?” Kat asked, bounding over to Ruby’s bed and jumping onto it.

“The Arithmancy teacher. Go away.”

Kat sat down, causing for the mattress to bounce her up and down. “Ooh!” She bounced up and down. “The Ravenclaw beds are reeeeeally bouncy! Ours aren’t. Professor Snape said they aren’t bouncy because he ‘doesn’t want to put up with insufferable children making horrible squeaking noises every night because I know none of you ever actually sleep at a reasonable time.’ End quote.”

Valorie yawned, grabbing her wand and activating the outside silencing wards built into every bed. Kat continued to talk, but the Hufflepuff couldn’t hear her. _Ah, quiet at last. Time for sleepies._

“Valorie!”

Valorie groaned, turning away and putting her pillow over her face. “How’d you get past the wards?”

“What wards?” Kat blinked innocently. 

“Ravenclaw doesn’t have wards because we usually either learn how to set them up ourselves—” Vivienne paused, “or fail. It’s considered a fun challenge.”

Valorie made a pained noise. “I wanna sleep! Go away!”

“Professor Snape gave us a twenty minute break because what’s-his-face decided to fool around instead of following instructions and blew himself and the room up,” Kat rattled off, “Again. Also, I kinda set your clock hour and a half hours behind. How’d you not notice how much the sun is out?” She pointed at a nearby window, where the sun was much brighter than Valorie usually saw when she woke up “And sunrise doesn’t even happen until half past seven anyways!”

“How’d you get on our phones?”

Kat picked up Valorie’s phone and grabbed one of her hands, then squished them together. The phone unlocked.

Vivienne laughed, “See, this is why I didn’t activate the thumbprint on my phone.”

“So Kat can’t mess with your settings when you sleep?” Ruby raised an eyebrow, then looked back at her phone. “Where did you change it! Kat!”

“No, it’s so no one can cut off my thumb and use it to unlock my phone.”

Valorie and Ruby both froze, surreptitiously glancing at their fingers to make sure they’re all there.

“Or just steal their hair for polyjuice,” Kat suggested. “Then you have their fingerprints for a bit longer than a decaying thumb. Hey, what do you think will happen if someone gets someone else pregnant while under polyjuice? Is the kid theirs or the person polyjuiced? Also, what if a dude under polyjuice gets pregnant while in a woman’s body?”

Vivienne sighed. “I’m done with this conversation. The end of class bell will ring any minute, which means there’s only ten minutes before class starts. Kat and I are ditching you because we don’t want Professor Snape mad at us for being late. Bye.” She stood up and dragged Kat out of the room.

Valorie closed her eyes and sank back into the warm blankets. It would be funny if Kat and Vivienne were late for class… class. “Oh, shoot.” Valorie’s eyes shot open and she sat up. “We have herbology!”

Ruby gave her a ‘well, duh’ look, pulling her robe on. “Yeah.”

“Ah!” Valorie squawked, tumbling off of the bed. She quickly changed into her school clothes and brushed her teeth. “How much time do we have left?” She asked as she brushed her hair frantically, trying to pry out the tangles. 

“Like three minutes.” Ruby checked her phone. “We’re so lucky that the passage that leads from the Hufflepuff common room to the greenhouse is still there.”

“But we’re not in the Hufflepuff common room.”

“Oh sh—” Ruby paled as she raced for the door.

Valorie shook her head before darting after her friend. Rushing out of the room, she nearly collided headfirst into Kat who was giggling madly. “We have to get going! Class starts soon!” 

Vivienne shook with laughter, not looking up from her book as she was leaned against the wall.

“What?”

“Have I mentioned that these two really suck at technology?” Kat asked Vivienne, who shook her head, still laughing silently. She looked at the two Hufflepuffs. “You two are utterly dreadful at it. 

Valorie suddenly realized why they were laughing. “You didn’t change the time, did you? It’s actually six in the morning?”

“Well, seven, now.” Kat booped Valorie’s in the nose. “Food time! Candy day awaits!”

“Wait,” Ruby paused them. “How’d you change the lights and where did Noel go?”

“Noel’s hiding under the bed, she has a habit of doing that, and I don’t like waking her because she scratches,” Vivienne answered, marking her page and placing it in her pocket. “And our windows can actually show whatever time we want because some of us prefer different reading lights.”

“You guys are so evil,” Valorie sighed.

Kat gasped. “Did you hear that? She just called me evil!” She poked Vivienne in the arm. “Viv! I’m so evil, right?”

Vivienne looked at her, unblinking. “Suuuuure.”

“I is evil!” Kat sang, skipping down the hall toward where breakfast was. “I is the evilest! Fear me, tiny children!”

Ruby and Valorie exchanged a look. “She does realize that, as first years, we are the tiniest children here, right?”

“Who cares about schematics?” Vivienne began walking after Kat. “We’d better get there before she blows something or someone up. Last night, she was trying to find a spell that lets lasers shoot out your wand. Let’s hope she doesn’t find one.”

Valorie blinked. “Isn’t that spell in—”

“Ahh!” Vivienne waved her hands quickly. “Nope! Lalalalalalala! Plausible deniability! Lalalalalalalala!”

“A Ravenclaw that doesn’t want knowledge?” Ruby fake-gasped. “Has the world ended?”

“I did it!” Kat exclaimed, bouncing back toward her friends. “I took over the world?”

Vivienne shook her head. “Not yet.”

Kat pouted, “Awwww!”

Vivienne patted Kat’s head in a way that seemed consoling, but she looked amused. 

Valorie rolled her eyes. “If you are done, can we go now?”

Kat waved a hand flippantly, like it was such an inconvenience to go eat food. “Sure.”

Ruby shrugged at Valorie. “Technically we could’ve left whenever we felt like it.”

Valorie sighed. “We should’ve when we had the chance.”

Kat giggled and latched onto Valorie’s arm. “Too late! You is stuck with us now!”

“The Stockholm Syndrome sets on fast.”

~*~

By the time Valorie and Ruby had finally made it to Herbology, Kat had attempted to enact a few more pranks onto the two Hufflepuffs—the most notable was tying their phones to owls, which flew away and resulted in a wild owl chase.

“You’re late,” a low voice drawled from behind them. “Go find a partner and choose a pot. Or don’t and fail, I don’t particularly care.”

Valorie whirled around, meeting the eyes of the person who, last she checked, was their potions teacher. “Wha…?”

“Miss Lai-Dorian, we do not have all day.” Snape cocked an eyebrow at her and gestured impatiently. 

Valorie let Ruby drag her over to a pot, idly wondering who was teaching potions. She hoped the class had a teacher. She was fairly sure Kat had potions and suddenly felt bad for whoever was taking Snape’s place. But also, maybe a plant ate Professor Longbottom. That was a bit worrisome

She finally looked at the pot in front of her, covered by a clear dome, and jumped back as the purple thing inside tried to fly at her. “Ah!”

“What the…” Ruby held her hands out, like she was preparing to slap the plant if it escaped its confinement. “What are these?”

“As some of you have no doubt noticed because you _actually_ read your books, we are dealing with Bouncing Bulbs.” Snape pointed to the plant in front of another pair of students that was viciously slamming itself against the dome. “As you can see they are violent when they feel threatened. They are also used in the Pompion potion. Does anyone know what that is?”

Valorie saw another Hufflepuff, Will, raise his hand hesitantly.

Snape sighed and Valorie thought she heard him mutter, “At least it’s not a Gryffindor.” He pointed at Will. “Yes, Granger the second?”

Will’s face turned pink and a black-haired boy next to him elbowed him with a grin. “It’s, um, a potion that encases the head of the drinker in a pumpkin, Professor.”

Snape pursed his lips. “You are...correct. Five points to…” he looked like he was tasting something sour. “Hufflepuff.”

“Professor Snape,” James Potter raised his hand tentatively, “Is Professor Longbottom okay?”

Snape looked down at the boy like he was an idiot. “Why wouldn’t he be?”

“Uh,” Potter looked stumped. “Because you’re substituting?”

Snape looked at Potter with what looked like perplexed concern. “I am not substituting for _Headmaster_ Longbottom,” he said slowly, as if for a small child. “Have you recently befallen head trauma, perhaps?”

“Uh, no Professor. I don’t think so.” James looked slightly lost but lowered his hand and say anything else.

“Moving on,” Snape turned to face the rest of the class. “Your task is to practice using the Knockback Jinx in order to defend yourself against the bulbs in order to repot them. These are slightly bigger than the young ones, so I hope you know how to cast that jinx.”

Valorie glanced at Ruby, “The incantation’s _Flipendo,_ right?”

“Yeah,” Ruby confirmed, eyes not leaving Snape as he turned around to survey the other half of the room. “What’s up with Snape, though? And Headmaster Longbottom? Whaaaat?”

Valorie shrugged, not sure either. “Maybe we traveled into an alternate timeline that has all this weird stuff?”

Ruby looked at her skeptically. “With _Potter?”_

“True, that’d be weird.” Valorie lept back as the shield protecting them against the plants suddenly were disabled. “Ah!”

_“Flipendo!”_ The Bouncing Bulb was knocked away from its trajectory toward Valorie’s face, landing on the floor a few meters away. Shields sprung up around them, separating each pair from the others to prevent utter chaos.

“This is insane,” Valorie frantically kept casting the Knockback Jinx until it felt like a tongue twister in her mouth. _“Lipflendo_ —AGH!”

“How in Merlin’s name are we supposed to repot these?!” Ruby angrily waved her wand at the Bouncing Bulb, cursing when one of her spells missed and the plant smacked her in the face.

“Language, Miss Kim,” Snape said flippantly, passing by and casting a knockback jinx silently and wandlessly to keep the plant from attacking him.

Ruby rolled her eyes, wiping her sweaty forehead with a sleeve. “This is impossible! _Flipendo! Flipendo! Fli—!”_ The plant had hit her from the side, taking a large clump of long hair with it, prompting a combination of swears and death threats.

Valorie ducked, giving up on using the jinx. She wondered if Longbottom would’ve let them not be so tortured by the plants, but somehow suspected he would be just as unmerciful.

Ruby gave a loud grunt, punching the plant in its face—um, bulb? Surprisingly, it seemed to temporarily stun the Bouncing Bulb. 

Valorie rushed up and scooped it up, quickly depositing it in the pot and dumping soil over the bottom. “Whew!” She dusted her hands off and looked around the greenhouse. It seemed that everyone else was still struggling against their plants.

Snape walked by again and stopped, giving them a grudging look of approval. “Five points to Hufflepuff for your, unconventional, yet efficient strategy.”

Valorie beamed at Ruby, who was looking at the, now calm, Bouncing Bulb like she wanted to storm over and use it to provide kindling to make smores with. _Silly Ruby,_ she thought. _Green plants are harder to set aflame!_

Suddenly, a thought hit her. Valorie smacked herself in the forehead. “I’m an idiot!” She approached the Bouncing Bulb and pulled it out of the pot, much to the dismay of Ruby and Professor Snape.

The plant immediately tried to attack her again, but Valorie held up a hand, willing fire to appear in her palm. The bulb shrunk back in fear.

“If you want to live, go pot yourself into there.” Valorie gestured to the pot with her other hand.

The bulb seemed about to jump one more time before cowering back and hopping into the pot.

“Two points,” She heard Snape mutter as he swooped away from them to go terrorize the other students.

Valorie punched a fist into the air. “Yeah!” She walked back over to Ruby, who had begun giggling maniacally somewhere between the setting of fire and the plant repotting itself.

“That was so cool!” Ruby smirked, “Can we do that to all of the guys at school?”

Valorie laughed, “I think we’d get in trouble for that.” She poked her partner. “Snape gave us points! Can you believe that?” She thought about how Ruby resembled Kat while evilly cackling—she had influenced her in ways that were unexpected. “I wonder how Kat, Vivienne, and Noel are doing in Potions. If Professor Longbottom’s the Headmaster in this world, do you think that makes Headmistress McGonagall the Potions teacher?”

“At least it isn’t Longbottom,” Ruby remarked.

“Thank Merlin for that.”


	12. Chapter Eleven: Upgrade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As people rushed to reverse the improper potions dosage and put the room back to rights, Vivienne wondered what had happened, studying the walls and ceiling for any sign of damage. Was the school under attack? Did someone blow something up?
> 
> Whatever had happened, the teachers _definitely_ hadn’t planned on such chaos erupting during their prank.

Kat ducked under Vivienne’s arm, taking off down the empty hall. “You’ll never get your phone back!”

Vivienne watched dryly as she reached an arm out and grabbed the strap of Kat’s bag, effectively stopping the other girl in her tracks. “Mine,” She retrieved her phone smugly, ignoring Kat’s extended tongue.

“Blah,” Kat harrumphed, checking her phone as she walked. “We have five minutes before this hall re-enacts how Mufasa died in Lion King.”

Vivienne looked at Kat skeptically. “I doubt it’s that extreme. We haven’t died yet.”

“Yeah,” Kat nodded empathically, _“yet.”_ She pulled Vivienne to the wall as a group of trotting wildebeest—uh, students—passed by them. “Because I always make sure we leave food early every day before Potions. These halls are narrower to, according to mythology, make room for the fabled Chamber Of Secrets. We know that’s dubious because of the second book, but the point is that these halls require more dense humans traveling at the same speed or the same density of humans, but traveling at approximately half the original speed.”

“Ugh,” Vivienne sighed. “Math.”

“Also logic!” Kat added cheerfully.

Vivienne huffed. “Well, we should hurry then.” She began tugging Kat carefully through the throngs of students, trying not to trip when someone shoved past her on the moving staircase. “Honestly, you’d think people would have common courtesy when people could fall off of a _moving staircase.”_

Kat shrugged. “You know, humans.”

Vivienne wrinkled her nose. “Yeah. Not all humans though. Come on, we’ll be late.”

They got to the potions classroom and found seats. Vivienne was pulling out her books when she felt someone poke her arm. “Hey, Viv.”

Vivienne looked up. “Yeah, Kat?”

Kat pointed to the front. “Why is the Arithmancy teacher writing our lesson on the board? Ooh! I didn't know he was left-handed!”

“What.” Vivienne followed Kat’s finger, casually bringing Kat’s hand back down because it’s rude to point. “Maybe Professor Snape’s sick?”

Kat made a skeptical noise. “Professor Snape? _Sick?”_ She looked Vivienne in the eye. “Dude, this is a guy who taught classes after being tortured by Voldemort the day before. And he’s a Potions Master—that’s like a Ph.D.—he doesn’t get _sick.”_

“Professor Snape is not sick.” Oops. Apparently they were loud enough for Professor Wang to overhear them. “I believe he has a class this period.”

Vivienne blinked at him. She’d only seen him from a distance before and why did he have to be so tall? (He really wasn’t that tall, she was just short) “Um, yeah, this class?”

Now it was Professor Wang’s turn to look confused. “He teaches Herbology?” He paused before gaining a knowing look. “Did you drink any weird potions?”

“No,” Vivienne crossed her arms. “Professor Snape teaches Potions and you teach Advanced Arithmancy.”

“I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about, Miss Favero.”

Vivienne could see equally frustrated expressions around her.

“Um.” Kat tapped her fingers against the table. “This is a class of Slytherins. Literally everyone here is confused, which means there’s a higher chance of us being right.” Vivienne elbowed her. “And Ravenclaws,” Kat added quickly, elbowing her back. “But okay, we can play along. What potion are we learning today, oh so qualified human possessing a Potions Mastery?”

Wang raised an eyebrow. “How dare you assume I’m human?” He asked dramatically.

Kat burst into giggles. She looked at Vivienne. “Can we skip straight to Advanced Arithmancy?”

“Do you know how math works?”

Kat shrugged. “Kinda?”

“What are we learning today, Professor Wang?” Vivienne interrupted in an effort to return their class back to the topic.

Professor Wang flicked his wand at the board, words writing themselves at the top. “Today, we will be learning about the Forgetfulness potion. The ingredients are on the board.”

Vivienne began repeating the ingredients out loud as she read them. “Two measures of the standard herb mixture, two Valerian sprigs, four mistletoe berries, and—“ she frowned at the board. “How on earth does he have _Lethe_ water?”

“Plot twist, he’s actually Hades.” Kat giggled, measuring out their needed ingredients and adding the Lethe water to the cauldron. She watched it heat up before adding the Valerian sprigs and stirring. “Whee!” Kat waved her wand over the bubbling pot. “And now we wait.” She pulled out a book and poked Vivienne. “I’m bored. Why do we have to wait for so long?”

“Because that’s just how it works,” Vivienne replied, crushing the standard ingredient and mistletoe berries together with a pestle. “Hey, Siri, set timer for forty-five minutes.”

“Setting the timer!” The voice from her phone chirped.

From the table beside them, Sayaka—Vivienne thought she was Kat’s roommate—gave her a confused look. “Did you charm your mirror to be able to set timers? What?”

“Uh,” Vivienne gave her an equally confused look. “You mean my _phone?”_

Sayaka set her potion to simmer for the next while and turned around. “Aren’t phones supposed to be plugged into the wall?

Her potions partner, T’Alex nudged her and whispered, “These are _new_ phones.”

Sayaka groaned. “Why do muggles keep changing their things? It makes keeping up and blending in so hard!”

“That’s why they’re making Muggle Studies and Wizard Studies mandatory beginning next year.” Kat poked the side of the cauldron with her wand. “Cook faster.”

“First of all,” Vivienne said, “it’s a potion, not food, therefore it doesn’t cook. Second of all, WHAT?”

Kat stuck her tongue out. “It’s pretty much magical soup. Also, I know about it because Valorie’s mom texted her about it while I was changing her phone’s timezone this morning.”

“So we have to take it next year?” Sayaka gave an exasperated sigh. “But I have so many classes I have to take! This messes up my schedule plan for the next seven years! How am I supposed to get at least seven N.E.W.T.s now?”

Vivienne didn’t know how many N.E.W.T.s were considered normal, but they were currently in eight classes, so she didn’t think they would have many more added on later. 

“Vivienne,” Kat prodded her shoulder. “Look at this fanfic I found.” Her book had disappeared inside one of her many pockets or her purse.

“Nuuuuu,” Vivienne groaned, looking down at Kat’s phone. “Why so much Harry Potter fanfiction?”

Kat shrugged before choosing one at random and began to read it. 

Vivienne sighed before succumbing to her curiosity. “Okay, what’s that one about?”

Kat gave her an evil smile. “I’m glad you asked, Vivienne.”

Vivienne raised an eyebrow as her friend opened airdrop and sent the link to her phone. She looked down and immediately wished she could obliviate herself without extreme, permanent, negative consequences. “Kat, WHY?”

“Is there a problem, Faverro?” Wang asked, suddenly behind them.

“Nope!” Kat chirped, surreptitiously clicking on the home button of her phone. “Hi, Professor Wang! Is our potion failing?”

Wang shrugged vaguely. “Is it?”

As Wang traversed to another part of the room, Kat leaned in and whispered, “That means it’s okay.”

“Gee, I wonder.” Vivienne drawled, giving her potion a stir before opening her phone. “I’m pretty sure he’d say something if we were about to cause mass havoc.” 

Kat stuck a finger near the cauldron. “Should I poke this?”

“No,” Vivienne replied without looking up from her phone. She bit the nail of her thumb as she looked up and saw the other girl dangerously close to the heated metal. “No!”

Kat pouted, “Do you think I’d be able to cook an egg through this cauldron? It feels—” Vivienne have a cry of protest as she moved her hand closer to the pot. “It feels _about_ the right temperature.”

“No.” Vivenne shook her head. “No touching or cooking food on the metal container that is literally above boiling point.”

“What’s boiling point?” Kat tilted her head, watching the fire scorch the bottom of the cauldron with a worrying fascination. “Is it one hundred degrees _Fahrenheit_ or _Celsius?_ I always get those two mixed up.”

“It’s one hundred degrees in Celsius.” Vivienne replies. “But it’s not a good idea to touch it regardless.” 

Kat sighed dramatically. “How much time is there left for our boredom?” 

Vivienne states at her blankly. “Like two minutes has passed.”

“Noooooo!”

Finally, the forty-five minutes required passed at last and Vivienne was free to add the standard ingredient-mistletoe berries mixture to the potion.

“Which way does a clock go?” 

Vivienne quickly pulled up her clock app to show Kat.

“Okay. We stirrrrrrrrr…” Kat muttered as she moved the stirring rod through the potion counterclockwise. “And now we waaaaave.” She passed her hand over the steaming cauldron. “Wheeeeee.” She placed it in her pocket. “Okay, we’re done.”

Vivienne looked between it and the textbook’s description. It did not look like the right shade or orange. “Isn’t it supposed to be more like red-orange? This is kinda yellow-ish.”

“Hm…” Kat glanced at the book before grabbing a mistletoe berry and crushing it with the closest solid object—her potions knife. She used the sharp tool to pick up about a third of the berry remains and scraped it into the potion, stirring. “I think the first part needed to darken a bit more. Because literally all of this potion is green except for the berries, it must be the part that makes it turn red. Or something like that. Math. It makes sense to me.”

“What.” Vivienne watched with the expectation that her friend would be blown up by the potion she had altered. “You’re going to die. Be careful.”

Kat shrugged. “Wang’s here, we won’t die.”

“Won’t we?” Vivienne asked dryly, bottling up the orange potion. “This whole thing is going to end badly for the teachers, let me just say that for the record.”

Kat giggled. “Maybe the teachers all took some of the forgetfulness potion and now think they’re all each other’s occupation?”

Vivienne considered her friends wards carefully. “Maybe,” she replied, looking as the teacher expertly corrected another group’s potion.

“Plot twist!” Kat jabbed Vivienne with her wand. “What if they all went through a portal that lets them be alternate forms of themselves?” She stared a bit. “Or! MIND CONTROL!”

Vivienne looked at her skeptically. “On _Snape?”_

“True. That's unlikely.” Kat then gasped. “What if he’s just biding his time?”

“...” Vivienne just blinked at her friend before shaking her head and ignoring Kat’s theory. “Oooookay.”

Kat vanished the leftover potion with a wave of her wand. “What if they’ve been replaced with… uh, ROBOTS?”

“What.”

“What’s a robot?” T’alex asked, stopping by their table on her way back from Snape’s—Wang’s now, she guessed—desk.

“I know that one!” Sayaka exclaimed, standing next to them. “It’s like a golem or something, right?”

Vivienne sent a questioning look to Kat’s roommate. 

“Kinda,” Kat nodded, ignoring Vivienne’s look of confusion. 

Vivienne sighed. “No. Robots, for now anyway, aren’t alive and don’t function smoothly enough to pass as humans, especially since they don’t have a full understanding of expression and emotion.”

“But what about…”

“Nope.” Vivienne covered her ears. “I do not have the brain cells or the mental capacity to think right now.”

“But aren’t robots technically metal golems? That are programmed and stuff to—oh, wait.” Kat tapped her wand on the side of the table. “Nevermind. That makes sense now.”

Suddenly, an explosion rocked the foundation of the ancient castle, sending the first-years stumbling backwards. Cauldrons clattered to the floor, spilling various shades of orange liquid everywhere.

Fortunately, Vivienne and Kat’s cauldron was empty, so they weren’t splashed when the cauldron had fallen on top of them. Some of their classmates weren’t quite as fortunate, becoming soaked in the forgetfulness potion as their cauldrons toppled.

“What happened?” Vivienne moved the heavy cauldron off from where it had trapped the edge of her robe to the ground. “Did someone’s cauldron explode?” She watched as Wang calmly put out some of the fires that had still been burning.

“Everyone who recalls what occurred, help me pass out the antidote to the forgetfulness potion.” Wang brought out a case of tiny vials of glittering liquid. “For those who have found themselves suffering from an unexpected bought of amnesia, don’t panic. Your memories will return upon consummation of this potion.”

As people rushed to reverse the improper potions dosage and put the room back to rights, Vivienne wondered what had happened, studying the walls and ceiling for any sign of damage. Was the school under attack? Did someone blow something up?

Whatever had happened, the teachers _definitely_ hadn’t planned on such chaos erupting during their prank.

**Author's Note:**

> We don't own Harry Potter, nor any of the fandoms that may be referenced in here.
> 
> Beta’d by ElvinHalfbloodWitch.


End file.
